I love my job

Dear student,

Bitch, are you for real? Did you really just accuse me of grading unfairly WITHOUT SEEING YOUR GRADED PAPER?!?! [n.b. the class is huge, so in order to get papers back they have to come to my office]

When you said "to me, getting 50% on a generously graded assignment means not having done the assignment at all," you were joking, right? Because if you hadn't done the assignment at all you would have gotten a zero. Most people who got fifty percent did so out of the good of my heart, after turning in glorified rants that were only vaguely related to the assignment questions.

And finally, this business of expecting me to address this strictly over email. I have come to the conclusion that you are really quite the joker, because I cannot fathom someone seriously thinking that I would retype all of the comments I made on their paper into an unsecure medium, risking confidentiality issues of grave importance, all because email "works better for [you]."

Get a fucking life.
CJ