If I promise to buy huge, expensive gifts for my girlfriends for weddings and births, do you think they'll be kind enough never to invite me to another shower? This is the most crass, obnoxious concept I've heard: let's throw a party specifically for the purpose of milking gifts out of people. But no, it gets better: let's make sure we don't have to suffer the bad taste of our friends and family by registering for the gifts we want so that they don't have to be at all thoughtful or unique in their gift giving. Then let's sit through a bunch of stale party games like "pin the penis on the groom" to make it look like we're not all really in a hurry to watch the bride open her presents so that we can eat the damn food.

OK, so this one wasn't bad at all -- I actually know and like most of the people who were there, and those I didn't know I ended up liking. It also turned into a regular party fairly quickly, except for the games. Also, I'm a total wet blanket: I don't do well at "when I get married" or "when I'm pregnant" talk because I don't want to get married or pregnant. I'm a complete fish out of water, which of course means I sit in a corner for half of the event and stare into space. But as showers go, this one was one of the best.

All right, I'm too grumpy to continue to be awake. G'night!