I got to hear about all of the times that my cousins got pulled over for DWB today.
First off, my little cousins just should NOT be old enough to drive. And some of them aren't. But B is 21 (I think -- might be 20) and K is 17 (just won homecoming queen, alongside her boyfriend, who was crowned king -- SO CUTE), and both have some scary-ass cop stories.
The most recent is K's. She was pulled over for driving HALF A BLOCK without lights on. Now, there's some context here. First, this is the girl who's so shy she barely talks at family gatherings. Second, this was her first day, and thus her first evening, driving a new car. Third, she was used to her mother's car, on which the lights automatically come on when the ignition is engaged. So, the cop informs her that her lights aren't on. K slaps her own forehead, and explains points two and three above. She is incredibly frightened at this point. The cop then asks to see her insurance information. The card is not yet in the car, as the car has only just been purchased. The cop goes off on K, writes ticket, gets her fat ass back in the patrol car and leaves.
My cousin decided to fight the ticket, probably rightfully -- most cops would have given a verbal, MAYBE a written warning for such a minor issue. After finally finding out HOW to do this (she had to pull strings with a connected friend of the family, as no one would tell her how to fight it and would only tell her just to pay it and not waste her time), she showed up in court to a huge surprise.
See, Jackass Cop had written "subject laughed the entire time and repeatedly banged head against window" on ONLY the copy of the ticket sent to the court. K got on the stand, explained that 1) nothing of the sort was charged on HER copy of the ticket and 2) she had been too scared to laugh and had merely slapped her forehead in embarrassment, rather than beating her head against the window. Here's where the story becomes unusual in a good way.
The PROSECUTOR (yep, the person who's supposed to prove she did it) asks, "is the car insured?"
K: "Yes."
P: "It was insured at the time?"
K: "Yes."
P: "Your honor, this ticket is a waste of the court's time."
The judge concurred, and bitched out the cop, who had actually appeared for the hearing. So this one ended more favorably than usual. But see, the thing that pisses me off the most is that it's far from the only story I heard today -- and it's the only remotely positive one. So, yeah, people look at me weird when I talk about not liking cops, as it would seem that a white female with no traffic stops on her record would have a neutral to favorable attitude toward our Gestapo in blue.
Frankly, you don't fuck with my family. K and B and B2 (who will be driving soon) may not have the same skin tone that I do, but B2 and I have our family's dimples, we all share the warped sense of humor, and we're all blessed in that all of the genes that we DON'T share made us taller than most of the relatives that we DO. I've watched these kids grow up. I babysat for them. I sat at the kids table a Christmas with them. I went on vacation with them. I got in trouble with them. I love them.
So, To Ms. Bad-ass Cop:
You would probably like me, feel some kind of white-woman-to-white-woman report with me. You would probably let me off with a verbal warning and a "congrats on the new wheels." Maybe you wouldn't even stop me, assuming that I'll turn on my lights in just a second, as I'm probably in a hurry to get home and have only driven half a block.
Here's the crux: you assume, because K's skin is a few shades darker than mine (and it's very few shades darker), that she has some more sinister motive at heart. She must be defying your authority, this person of darkness who clearly chooses to travel in stealth. And her polite smile must mean that she is laughing at you; you've heard that THEY think all cops are a joke anyway. And what WAS that crazy slapping thing anyway? You've never been so exasperated with yourself that you would get violent. Must make sure to make a secret note of this for the judge, in case the little dark girl comes up with a way to rationalize it on the way to the court house.
Attribution of motive is fun, isn't it? Never mind that it means doing your job poorly. Hell, why go through all of that sensitivity training, when this is so much easier?
Fuck you, jackass. Fuck all y'all jackass cops, 'cause there's few of you who don't end up using this same lazy, stereotyped, PREJUDICED thinking to avoid making responsible, time consuming decisions.
If made with the appropriate amount of care, discretionary decisions in policing can be incredibly hard to make, and can involve some damn scary situations. I used to have some empathy, having studied for a career in law enforcement at one point in time. Then, dear asshole, my cousins learned to drive. Now I have only mistrust and contempt. In closing,
Fuck you up the ass. With a Plunger.
CJ
First off, my little cousins just should NOT be old enough to drive. And some of them aren't. But B is 21 (I think -- might be 20) and K is 17 (just won homecoming queen, alongside her boyfriend, who was crowned king -- SO CUTE), and both have some scary-ass cop stories.
The most recent is K's. She was pulled over for driving HALF A BLOCK without lights on. Now, there's some context here. First, this is the girl who's so shy she barely talks at family gatherings. Second, this was her first day, and thus her first evening, driving a new car. Third, she was used to her mother's car, on which the lights automatically come on when the ignition is engaged. So, the cop informs her that her lights aren't on. K slaps her own forehead, and explains points two and three above. She is incredibly frightened at this point. The cop then asks to see her insurance information. The card is not yet in the car, as the car has only just been purchased. The cop goes off on K, writes ticket, gets her fat ass back in the patrol car and leaves.
My cousin decided to fight the ticket, probably rightfully -- most cops would have given a verbal, MAYBE a written warning for such a minor issue. After finally finding out HOW to do this (she had to pull strings with a connected friend of the family, as no one would tell her how to fight it and would only tell her just to pay it and not waste her time), she showed up in court to a huge surprise.
See, Jackass Cop had written "subject laughed the entire time and repeatedly banged head against window" on ONLY the copy of the ticket sent to the court. K got on the stand, explained that 1) nothing of the sort was charged on HER copy of the ticket and 2) she had been too scared to laugh and had merely slapped her forehead in embarrassment, rather than beating her head against the window. Here's where the story becomes unusual in a good way.
The PROSECUTOR (yep, the person who's supposed to prove she did it) asks, "is the car insured?"
K: "Yes."
P: "It was insured at the time?"
K: "Yes."
P: "Your honor, this ticket is a waste of the court's time."
The judge concurred, and bitched out the cop, who had actually appeared for the hearing. So this one ended more favorably than usual. But see, the thing that pisses me off the most is that it's far from the only story I heard today -- and it's the only remotely positive one. So, yeah, people look at me weird when I talk about not liking cops, as it would seem that a white female with no traffic stops on her record would have a neutral to favorable attitude toward our Gestapo in blue.
Frankly, you don't fuck with my family. K and B and B2 (who will be driving soon) may not have the same skin tone that I do, but B2 and I have our family's dimples, we all share the warped sense of humor, and we're all blessed in that all of the genes that we DON'T share made us taller than most of the relatives that we DO. I've watched these kids grow up. I babysat for them. I sat at the kids table a Christmas with them. I went on vacation with them. I got in trouble with them. I love them.
So, To Ms. Bad-ass Cop:
You would probably like me, feel some kind of white-woman-to-white-woman report with me. You would probably let me off with a verbal warning and a "congrats on the new wheels." Maybe you wouldn't even stop me, assuming that I'll turn on my lights in just a second, as I'm probably in a hurry to get home and have only driven half a block.
Here's the crux: you assume, because K's skin is a few shades darker than mine (and it's very few shades darker), that she has some more sinister motive at heart. She must be defying your authority, this person of darkness who clearly chooses to travel in stealth. And her polite smile must mean that she is laughing at you; you've heard that THEY think all cops are a joke anyway. And what WAS that crazy slapping thing anyway? You've never been so exasperated with yourself that you would get violent. Must make sure to make a secret note of this for the judge, in case the little dark girl comes up with a way to rationalize it on the way to the court house.
Attribution of motive is fun, isn't it? Never mind that it means doing your job poorly. Hell, why go through all of that sensitivity training, when this is so much easier?
Fuck you, jackass. Fuck all y'all jackass cops, 'cause there's few of you who don't end up using this same lazy, stereotyped, PREJUDICED thinking to avoid making responsible, time consuming decisions.
If made with the appropriate amount of care, discretionary decisions in policing can be incredibly hard to make, and can involve some damn scary situations. I used to have some empathy, having studied for a career in law enforcement at one point in time. Then, dear asshole, my cousins learned to drive. Now I have only mistrust and contempt. In closing,
Fuck you up the ass. With a Plunger.
CJ
posted by Turtle at 6:37 PM
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