Sometimes life makes me happy.
I went to lunch with the dad yesterday, and we got around to talking about gay marriage. He brought up a fairly standard argument for civil unions and "saving" marriage for het couples. I responded with the now standard "separate but equal is not equal" argument. And that's where the conversation surpassed standard.
My father stopped, thought about it, and said, "you're right. I never thought about it, but that's segregation." See, dad visited Florida in 1955, and saw first hand the segregationist policies of the last days of Jim Crow. I'd wager that that trip caused him to rethink some old beliefs as well.
This is what I tend to forget about my dad. He starts off at a default position of "that's just not right," especially where homosexuality is concerned. But then life challenges him, and he thinks. My step brother came out to the family (via my grandmother) a few years ago. Since then, I don't think I've heard a queer joke out of my dad's mouth. He still had trouble with the transsexual woman at the gun show last fall, but I suspect that was because his younger brother, poster child for cloaking ignorance in a wad of pseudo-academic blather, was with us. But as long as my father time to process, on his own, events and arguments that challenge his world view, he is willing to change it.
This is where I've been feeling ashamed of my own recent world view. I know not everyone will be like my dad (and really, thank god, because he's kind of high maintenance), that most folks are far more attached to the way they think about things than he is. But my default position these past few weeks has been one of hopelessness and lack of faith in people and their ability to adapt to new situations and ideas. This is a level of cynicism that I can't maintain.
So, Al: the only reason I'll leave the US is wanderlust, and a desire to know a little of life beyond my own context. I'm here for the long haul, and I'll try like hell to remember Margaret Mead's words:
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
I went to lunch with the dad yesterday, and we got around to talking about gay marriage. He brought up a fairly standard argument for civil unions and "saving" marriage for het couples. I responded with the now standard "separate but equal is not equal" argument. And that's where the conversation surpassed standard.
My father stopped, thought about it, and said, "you're right. I never thought about it, but that's segregation." See, dad visited Florida in 1955, and saw first hand the segregationist policies of the last days of Jim Crow. I'd wager that that trip caused him to rethink some old beliefs as well.
This is what I tend to forget about my dad. He starts off at a default position of "that's just not right," especially where homosexuality is concerned. But then life challenges him, and he thinks. My step brother came out to the family (via my grandmother) a few years ago. Since then, I don't think I've heard a queer joke out of my dad's mouth. He still had trouble with the transsexual woman at the gun show last fall, but I suspect that was because his younger brother, poster child for cloaking ignorance in a wad of pseudo-academic blather, was with us. But as long as my father time to process, on his own, events and arguments that challenge his world view, he is willing to change it.
This is where I've been feeling ashamed of my own recent world view. I know not everyone will be like my dad (and really, thank god, because he's kind of high maintenance), that most folks are far more attached to the way they think about things than he is. But my default position these past few weeks has been one of hopelessness and lack of faith in people and their ability to adapt to new situations and ideas. This is a level of cynicism that I can't maintain.
So, Al: the only reason I'll leave the US is wanderlust, and a desire to know a little of life beyond my own context. I'm here for the long haul, and I'll try like hell to remember Margaret Mead's words:
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
posted by Turtle at 11:02 AM
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