Tuesday, November 30, 2004

valium sucks

Dear University of Minnesota,

Thank you for the wonderful complete lack of dental insurance. What I've always wanted is to suffer through dental work while inadequately sedated. Because really, I couldn't possibly have a real phobia of either needles or dentists. It couldn't possibly cause me to sob uncontrollably while there's a NEEDLE IN MY FUCKING MOUTH. And really, I should be thanking you for my piss-poorly paid job, which grants you cheap labor and helps you avoid hiring people you actually have to GIVE BENEFITS TO!

And thank you so much for offering me discount dental work at your dental school, so that more of my money can end up in your pocket. Don't you think, though, that it would make sense to teach your students how to use nitrous oxide? Oh, that's right. I forgot: those of us who need sedation are just a bunch of fucking whiners. No reason why the valium that DIDN'T EVEN PUT ME TO SLEEP last night won't take care of it.

Thank you ever so much. This was officially the second-worst dental experience I've ever had, after the poorly done surgery in which, at age 8, I was 1) not allowed to have nitrous... or any other type of sedation; and 2) operated on before the fucking novocaine started working.

I understand that you really don't think I'm worth the money to insure (or hell, pay), but I help keep your school running and bringing in more money. I really don't think it's too much to ask that I not have to choose between being able to afford dental work and being able to have it done without nearly having to be strapped down.

Yours in servitude,


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