Dear Barbara Walters,

My cell phone is a convenience. The new rule that would let me keep my number if I change mobile providers? Also a convenience. My cell phone number is not "as important to [me] as [my] name." I reiterate: it is a convenience. If this new rule is so fricking important that almost a month after its inception you're still doing news magazine segments on it, I suggest that you go on your TV show and remind the American public that this wonderful technology and the convenience it provide are not DIVINE RIGHTS. If this new portability rule keeps someone's business from losing money -- you guessed it. Old friends can still find each other? Once again, the big C.

I resent that you would go on your TV show and tell me that I identify myself by my fucking PHONE NUMBER because you couldn't find anything else to report about this week. Keep your skewed sense of entitlement to yourself, and find one of the millions of worthy-yet-unreported stories that slip past the media each year to report on. Cause this thing? So last month.

CJ