Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Polling the Audience

Burning questions have arisen in the basement this evening. At issue: Harry Potter versus Wolverine. Yep, it's random crossover night!

1. Can Wolvie regenerate from a dose of the old Avada Kedavra?

2. Would Harry be able to toss off so much as a tarantellegra before meeting his adamantium-clawed doom?

3. More likely, once convinced to help exterminate that pesky Dark Lord, who's less mortal: Wolvie or Voldie?

4. Which of our two heroes is most likely to be distracted by the closest convenient red-headed woman?

5. Could E&M and I possibly be bigger dorks?


Blogger Bill said...

1) No. I think Wolvie's healing factor is connected to his being alive. Avada Kedavra is instant death, so it doesn't work.

2) Harry, no. Hermione might be able to hold himself, but Harry would get slaughtered.

3) If Wolvie can avoid getting hit with the Avada, I think he has a better chance. It'd depend on the state of the Horcruxes, obviously. But Wolverine is stronger, with a higher agility. Voldie's a frail snake-man with a magic wand.

4) Harry, definitely. Wolverine's been around women for 80 years, his hormones are fairly in control.

5) Yes, you could be bigger dorks. You could write this story.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Turtle said...

1)But if the sucess of "Avada" depends on the strength of the wizard (c.f. Moody telling them that they couldn't give him so much as a nosebleed) and if, as M pointed out, adamantium is resistant to magic, wouldn't the diluted curse just mess Wolvie up a bit? He can heal from that.

3)But Voldie's immortality is magically ensured and non-physical. Does that even things up at all?

4)You make an excellent point.

5)Yet another excellent point.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

This may be the most important debate since Ninjas vs. Pirates (or maybe even Vampires vs. Werewolves).

1. Adamantium isn't living tissue, so I'm not sure that the curse would actually work. So I'm going to wager that it wouldn't work on him any more than if you were throwing it at a dude standing behind a brick wall.

2. On or off his broom?

3. I'm undecided on this. I'm going to go with Wolvie, though, seeing as we do know at least one way to kill Voldie.

4. Harry, definitely.

5. What Bill said. I am encouraging you to do so.

- sabotabby

12:07 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Okay, also, I realized that I wrote Hermione as a "him" instead of a "her", my bad...

Yes, the adamantium isn't living tissue, and it's invulnerable to magic, but it's his entire skeleton that's adamantium. The rest of his body is living flesh. Just very fast-healing living flesh. The effectiveness of Avada Kedavra would depend on where it hits and what it affects. Does it stop the heart? Does it kill the brain? Or does it just shut down the body completely?

I think if it affects the brain, then Wolverine's fine, since the brain's encased in adamantium skull. If it affects the heart, then it's 50/50, since the shot would have to wind through adamantium ribcage. If it's a full body shut down, then I think Wolverine's dead. Killing the body would kill the healing factor, since a corpse doesn't heal itself.

As for who's more immortal, if the Horcruxes are intact, then Voldemort's far more immortal than Wolverine. If they're destroyed, then Wolverine's got him dead to rights.

BTW, I'm having far too much fun with this.

1:03 PM  
Blogger Turtle said...

BTW, I'm having far too much fun with this.

And that's how I know the disease has successfully spread.

Rachel, thanks for coming over to play. The one thing that keeps me from writing this for the sheer cracktastickness of it is my lack of ability to write interesting fiction. Seriously, the whole thing would be heaped in mountains of useless dialog.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Turtle said...

2. On or off his broom?

I missed this one first time through. I'll hear bets on either, best rationalization wins... eternal fangirling.

1:13 PM  
Blogger elw said...

2. On or off his broom?

That is a really good question... If Harry's on his broom I think he may have a better chance against Wolvie; he did get past a mother dragon guarding her eggs (and it was the nastiest one there!). Hmmm... Depending on what sorts of spells Harry manages to hit Wolvie with, there's a good chance he could at least knock Wolvie out. Wolvie has been knocked out multiple times and I think more damage could be done to him while he's incapacitated.

If Harry's NOT on his broom... Wolvie, almost definitely. Harry's not the most coordinated guy when he's on his feet and I'm not sure he could cast one of those spells that throws people fast enough; Wolvie is QUICK.


1:36 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

If Harry's on his broom, then it comes down to where it's taking place.

If you're in a large open field, then Harry has a HUGE advantage. Put him in a forest or in a room, and Logan can climb his way up. But, hey, Wolverine needs the Fastball Special to get onto a Sentinel, there's no way he could grab Harry on, say, a Quidditch field.

But, you know, Harry can certainly avoid on a broom, or certainly attack on a broom. If we're going for incapacitation, it's just a matter of time before Harry can toss a Petrificus Totalus.

If you're going for more than incapacitation, then it's a draw. Wolverine can't kill Harry on the broom, Harry can't kill Wolverine cuz he doesn't want to.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Serena said...

1. Magic resistant or not, bones is not what makes one alive so Avada Kedavra would be the end all for Wolvie. The question is, can you get him with it? This brings us to question 2:

2. When it comes down to it, Wolverine would win in a fight between him and probably most people in the HP series. The reason for this that when it comes to fighting, wizards rely too much on magic. They expect it and they dish it out. For the most part, most wizards also are unable to conduct unvoiced spells and take away their wand and they're useless. Not that I believe, even in the HP world, that wands are the end all necessity for magic (evident in the fact that underage wizards accidently cast spells all the time without realizing it), but when it comes down to it, wizards are taught with the wand and without it they are at a loss. This brings me back to the fighting. Wolverine is champ at hand to hand (or would that be claw to flesh) combat. Plus he's extremely quick, extremely strong, AND has plenty of fighting experience. Also, in fight to the death, he wouldn't hesitate to end the battle early. With wizards, as turtle pointed out, you have to mean to kill to be able to do it. Magic is predominately a mental thing and our poor young Harry is not much of a killer. While he is quick and resourceful, I dont believe Wolverine would give him that chance.

3. This is an odd comparison. Wolverine is mortal, but extremely hard to kill because of his fast-acting regenerative abilities. Once he's dead, he's dead, but he's also not one to let you get to that point. Voldemorte on the other hand, would be alot easier to kill, but killing him does not actually make him dead. One could argue that that makes him the one who's less mortal. Voldie is more like some comical cat with 7 horcrux lives instead of 9. Easier to kill, but, like Jason, you just gotta keep killing him a couple of time before it actually sticks.

Now, if asked who would actually win in the fight between these two almost immortals... I would say it depends on the situation. Refering back to my answer to question 1, obviously if anyone, Voldemorte stands the best chance at killing Wolverine since he could kill him with ease and mean it. However, I also believe the Voldemorte suffers from Enlarged Ego Villianous Gloat Syndrome (or EEVGS for short) and would be unable to resist spouting off some preachy stuff about the inferiority of us meager muggles, with or without mutant abilities. If Wolverine can avoid being hit with a direct Avada Kedavra, I think he would win. All it would take is one second of underestimation from Voldemorte to alow EEVGS to kick in and then the Dark Lord would be no more. (You know, until he comes back in the next round, but that would be for a while, since he's have to go off insearch of another body again.)

4. I know you specified "woman," but upon reading this question my first thought stumbled to Ron and all those horrible HarryxRon doujinshis I've read over the years. X( Damn you internet!!!!!

5. Of course. ;)

10:00 PM  
Anonymous The M in E & M said...

ok.... I've ummm... spent some time contemplating this since we had the initial discussion....

1. Wolvie would have to be hit.. which is quite an accomplishment as I'm sure he'd kill any wizard in that series before they knew he was there. AND I still am willing to bet a fair bit that the immunity offered by the adamantium is more of a field affect radiating from his bone plating out. I'd have to find someone with a good ghost rider/midnight sons collection to find the cameo that I'm thinking about. There were a few X issues that had Dr. Strange that also may have gone into the nature of this a little more.

2. Harry Potter is a full blown psychopath now that he's been empathically linked to reconstituted Voldie. The boy FLAYED Malfoy at the first opportunity. He is quite capable of a killing curse and meaning it. (He'd feel bad later). But as per 1, wolverine is quite the pragmatic assassin and wizards have a low save vs cut to pieces roll... not to mention the wide variety of military hardware wolvie is qualified on.

3. While permanent death isn't an immediate option vs Voldy.... it isn't trivial. Disembodied for 20 years a whack is pretty good and he'll run out of servants for the reincarnation trick before too long at that rate. Wolvie isn't stupid though (his body is that of an olympic class athlete at the peak of their training while his mind is like a grand master chess player beating 10 supercomputers at once - Forge X-men something or other) and has a experience getting shamanistic help killing the unkillable when he has too. Voldy though with a little efford and warning could really mess Wolvy's mind up. A few well placed illusions and he'd go hide in the woods for a couple years.

4. All depends on who that red hed is, or rather just how much she resembles an other red headed witch.

5. I'm working on it.

3:40 PM  

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