Dear people with romantic delusions,

Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to not take that chance, to not find out if the other person shares your feelings, to always wonder "what might have been." A good example of this is if one of you is married. Another is if the other person is married; if that person is married to someone who is also your friend, this provides a double reason for impulse control.

Lying to the jilted party, to the friend left to pick up the pieces (that's me, you jerks), and to your parents makes your behavior even more disgusting. As does condescending to me, telling me that you're a "big boy" who can take care of himself even though you were, as we spoke, making a childish, selfish mess for many of those you supposedly call friend.

Your life is not a work of fiction. There is no overarching true love that makes it OK for you to screw over as many people as need be to get to it. We are not actors playing at being hurt. I love you both, but your behavior is odious and toxic and the best I can do right now is to distance myself from it entirely. I will help get the main injured party in this affair to a safe space, then duck out until I can speak with either one of you rationally. I do not want to see or hear from you individually, and I sure as hell don't want to see you together.

Beyond disappointed,
CJ