In Art News...
... I appear to have made some. The opening was last night at Sue's gallery, and was both laid back and well-attended. The picture of my piece that's on the site is, alas, before it was entirely put together, but you can get the gist of it until I remember my camera on the same day that I end up at Sue's again (possibly next Sunday when I teach a class there? Who knows! I'm extremely talented at forgetting my camera). The Extended Family did not represent as well as expected, as there was high drama while I was in Seattle (in addition to the ongoing drama that's just always there).
See, there is a time-honored tradition of things blowing up when I leave town for awhile. When I went to Russia for a month, a friend got kicked out of her house, got her ass kicked by her mother, and ended up in the hospital (yes, three seperate incidents). Two years ago while I was in San Francisco, my grandmother attempted to stop breathing while at a restaurant with my Aunt, Uncle, and The Bad Children (while Grandma WAS frail, she is likely not the only one of us who has wished they were dead while in public with this particular brood). My mom being the only competant caretaker (read: woman) in the family meant that my cell phone was ringing constantly because, apparently, no one could so much as wipe Grandma's ass without consulting her. This time I was not with my mother, so she didn't favor me with The Skinny until I returned. A brief list of Shit that Happened:
1. Young cousin (with baby) beat up by boyfriend (on day before baby's first birthday party).
2. Young cousin moves back home.
3. Young cousin's boyfriend moves back home, YC moves back to apartment because lease cannot be broken and boyfriend is no good lout who will not pay rent.
4. YC's mother (Cousin T -- yes, she's my first cousin) is batshit insane (ok, this is not a recent development).
5. Cousin T gets call from her Oldest: he has a bleeding ulcer and no money to pay for treatment -- can someone help?
6. Cousin T goes on rampage, telling Oldest that he is selfish, spoiled brat for requesting money for treatment (yup).
7. Cousin T calls her Middle, convinces her that Oldest is Teh Ebilest, OMG, and is Disowned.
8. Middle, who usually takes her mother's crazy in stride, joins in the batshit by calling Oldest to allieviate his ulcer by telling him that he is NO LONGER HER BROTHER. (Note to family: could you make your silent treatment a little more silent?
9. Oldest gets hold of his grandma, my Aunt B, who helps out financially (yay, Aunt B!).
10. Aunt B joins the batshit by calling Cousin T and Middle to remonstrate &ct. (no, Aunt B, no. There is no reasoning with the batshit. That way lies madness).
11. Sure enough, Cousin T un-invites Aunt B to baby's birthday party.
12. Cousin T then includes Aunt B on email reminder of b-day party.
13. Many, many more batshit insane things ensue, though I have stopped listening at this point.
My family? Needs Valium. Truckloads of it.
While all of this was going on, I was having a very fun and relaxing week in Seattle and mountainous regions nearby. I went to visit my friend Mel, and we ran all over the city before spending two days at her (decidedly sane, thank diety of choice) Cousin's cabin in the mountains. If I weren't lazy I'd show you pictures, but I am, and I haven't slept since yesterday morning, so you'll have to wait to see how lovely it was. We went on a small (though steep) hike, wherein I learned what REAL elevation is (seriously? had there been a penis available, I could have joined the mile-high club at the pinnacle of our hike, without benefit of an airplane).
Now that I've completely skeeved you out with that thought, it's time for me to sign off. If I'm lucky, I'll get in a nap before knitting. How did I end up this busy without getting paid for anything?
See, there is a time-honored tradition of things blowing up when I leave town for awhile. When I went to Russia for a month, a friend got kicked out of her house, got her ass kicked by her mother, and ended up in the hospital (yes, three seperate incidents). Two years ago while I was in San Francisco, my grandmother attempted to stop breathing while at a restaurant with my Aunt, Uncle, and The Bad Children (while Grandma WAS frail, she is likely not the only one of us who has wished they were dead while in public with this particular brood). My mom being the only competant caretaker (read: woman) in the family meant that my cell phone was ringing constantly because, apparently, no one could so much as wipe Grandma's ass without consulting her. This time I was not with my mother, so she didn't favor me with The Skinny until I returned. A brief list of Shit that Happened:
1. Young cousin (with baby) beat up by boyfriend (on day before baby's first birthday party).
2. Young cousin moves back home.
3. Young cousin's boyfriend moves back home, YC moves back to apartment because lease cannot be broken and boyfriend is no good lout who will not pay rent.
4. YC's mother (Cousin T -- yes, she's my first cousin) is batshit insane (ok, this is not a recent development).
5. Cousin T gets call from her Oldest: he has a bleeding ulcer and no money to pay for treatment -- can someone help?
6. Cousin T goes on rampage, telling Oldest that he is selfish, spoiled brat for requesting money for treatment (yup).
7. Cousin T calls her Middle, convinces her that Oldest is Teh Ebilest, OMG, and is Disowned.
8. Middle, who usually takes her mother's crazy in stride, joins in the batshit by calling Oldest to allieviate his ulcer by telling him that he is NO LONGER HER BROTHER. (Note to family: could you make your silent treatment a little more silent?
9. Oldest gets hold of his grandma, my Aunt B, who helps out financially (yay, Aunt B!).
10. Aunt B joins the batshit by calling Cousin T and Middle to remonstrate &ct. (no, Aunt B, no. There is no reasoning with the batshit. That way lies madness).
11. Sure enough, Cousin T un-invites Aunt B to baby's birthday party.
12. Cousin T then includes Aunt B on email reminder of b-day party.
13. Many, many more batshit insane things ensue, though I have stopped listening at this point.
My family? Needs Valium. Truckloads of it.
While all of this was going on, I was having a very fun and relaxing week in Seattle and mountainous regions nearby. I went to visit my friend Mel, and we ran all over the city before spending two days at her (decidedly sane, thank diety of choice) Cousin's cabin in the mountains. If I weren't lazy I'd show you pictures, but I am, and I haven't slept since yesterday morning, so you'll have to wait to see how lovely it was. We went on a small (though steep) hike, wherein I learned what REAL elevation is (seriously? had there been a penis available, I could have joined the mile-high club at the pinnacle of our hike, without benefit of an airplane).
Now that I've completely skeeved you out with that thought, it's time for me to sign off. If I'm lucky, I'll get in a nap before knitting. How did I end up this busy without getting paid for anything?
posted by Turtle at 8:06 AM
1 Comments:
hmmm... yeah, that is an interesting mental image. Many inappropriate comments could be made, but I'll be good. ;)
Hopefully now that you have free time we can find hang-out time. It'll keep you away from bat-shit family, if nothing else.
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