Saturday, July 26, 2003

Target has finally gone off the deep end.

I was innocently trying to find new pants (again trying to replace the shrunken size nines), this time accepting the inevitable and escorting a size 11 to the change room. Oh, hell no. I would have had to purchase a size 15 -- yes, FIFTEEN -- in order to fit into a pair of target pants. I bought girly literature instead, and resolved to make my own fucking pants.

I then came home and decided to take a nice, relaxing bath with my girly book in order to cool off from what will hence be known as The Evil Target Trouser Incident (ETTI). I also made the (near-)fatal error of shaving my legs. Apparently, my subconscious decided that I needed to lose some weight after the ETTI, as I removed two sizable chunks of skin from my left leg. I then nearly bled to death while yelling for my mom to come get me band-aids so that I would not bleed all over her beautiful bathroom. Next time, I yell twice and after that the rugs are forfeit.

It has, however, been a fairly productive day. Trina's wedding dress is nearly done, and she shall be bee-you-tee-ful. It is also finally raining, so maybe now my hands and knees will be movable again (they hate humidity). All in all, an amusing day.

Also, Chris is a BIG DORK. The damn fool is pawning off his old board-and-block shelving on me. Not that I don't need it or didn't ask about it, but he's so desperate to be rid of them that he sounds like a used car salesman. So I'm being vengeful and calling him a BIG DORK on my blog:-) I have NO life.


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