"Aww hell. Let's try and spell it out anyway. Let's just say it right here: The kids are fine. Kids are not traumatized by much of anything we think they are. Kids are not scarred for life by hearing Howard Stern crack a penis joke with a porn star. Kids are not scarred for life by seeing one quarter-second of a famous nipple on national television. Kids are not scarred for life by reading the word 'f--' in this column, which of course they can't, because we can't print it, because if they saw it they would explode and die."

This article is a thing of beauty. Jon, it relates back to the "what do they fear" conversation. Enjoy.