I am an idiot.

Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to let me in to grad school?

I've been doing some of the reading for my fall classes in a futile attempt to avoid the panic inherent in taking three graduate courses at once. Today, I ran into the professor for one of those classes. She asked if I was in the class, and I said yes. And then began my idiocy:

Prof: It sure is coming up fast.
CJ: *nods agreement* Makes me glad I've started in on the reading already.

(note: this is utterly sincere, and I've said it to numerous folk already. This does not keep it from sounding like I'm brown nosing worse than a horny mongrel.)

Prof: Really? Which Book?
CJ: *tells her*
Prof: What do you think of it?
CJ: I've got some nagging issue with it that I've found I can't enunciate just yet. *goes on to babble in a vain attempt to look relatively smart; fails utterly*

Note: all of this is true as well. Are we beginning to see the problem here? That's right: I now look like a brownnoser who's LYING about having started the reading.

For the record, now that I have been awake half the night trying to figure out how to reverse time and not get on the elevator in which this conversation took place, I've got a lead on what my problem is with the fucking book. I promise not to bore you with that discussion here.

I'm going to go try to crawl in a hole now.