Public Service Announcement

Should the continued existance of the world somehow come to depend on my partaking of some form of marriage rites, y'all will be saying hello to the new unilateral leader of the universe. Please place your donations to the Emergency Yarn and Cat Food Fund directly ino my bank account. No, that paltry seven billion will not do it, Mr. Trump. You're talking about my participation in an institution I do not believe in, in exchange for the continued existance of you and your incredibly bad hair. The entire world will be expected to ante up. And you, you, you, you, and you? You all have three choices: go boom, go away, or stop that.

This PSA has been brought to you by tiresome illness and a game of "what if" in which I was asked whether I would get married if the fate of the world depended on it. Like every honest hero, I said that depends on what I get out of it.