Hair Today, Gone When I Get Around To It

Answer the following correctly and you win... the satisfaction of being right.

Question: Exactly how badly do I need a haircut?

A) Not very, shaggy's sorta stylish.
B) You might want to book an appointment soon.
C) Your pixie cut seems to be morphing into a proto-mullet.
D) OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD???!?!!?

Vote early, vote often. Answer this weekend, potentially with photographic evidence if I get my lazy ass around to loading the pictures.

An Interesting New Way to Support Independent Journalism?

http://www.zenarchery.com/2006/03/25/net-funded-journalism/

Here, have an update:

Monkey monkey anxious, monkey monkey depressed, monkey monkey Shrub, monkey monkey keep your laws out of my crotch, monkey monkey school, monkey monkey paper? PAPER!!!!! Monkey Monkey stress, monkey monkey uninspired, monkey monkey knitting, monkey monkey spinning, monkey monkey comic books (monkey monkey DORK!).

It's all much more interesting (and less whiny) with monkeys in place of most of the words.

In lieu of actual interesting content (or life), have The Muppet Version of Serenity.

Finally, News that DOESN'T Make Me Want to Cry

This is the best news to come out of South Dakota since my cousin announced his engagement to a lovely woman from Aberdeen.

If you'd like to support the Oglala Planned Parenthood effort, here's how.

Here's to you, President Fire Thunder.

Birfday Wishes

Happy birfday, Bill. Your email was being a butt, so I decided to send you best wishes here.

Kim's a petty bitch, babe. She must be pretty unhappy, to have to flaunt it like that.

Dude. Lookit me, being all mysterious and junk. Hope you're having a good day, and a happy housewarming as well.

Lucky Duck

Boy did I get lucky. T-Mobile replaced my phone for $30 and an extension to my contract -- the extension is no problem, as they are decidedly the non-suckiest provider I've had. AND they salvaged my SIM card, so I don't need to re-collect phone numbers.

Whee for not having to pay $180 for a replacement phone! And happy Green Drunkenness Day.

Drowning in my own idiocy

So, I've been planning to buy an external HD for the computer, as I've been getting love notes from it that say things like, "quit one of the fucking applications, dumb-ass, you've got too fucking much music stored on me." I was waiting for yesterday's paycheck so that I could go out and buy it this weekend. Then today happened.

What happened, you ask? I'll tell you.

I washed my fucking cell phone.

That's right. I left it in the pocket of my jeans and threw it right in. If you feel that I should have your phone number, I probably don't. Email it to me (my email's in my profile, if you don't already know it). I should have a new phone by tomorrow. But now I'm really not sure when you'll see me on IM or Gtalk again. I think my computer is gonna leave me for someone who can support it's memory habit soon.

HA!

Hello from Apple Store, Southdale! I have usurped one of their beautiful, unbroken machines to say that I am in a hellish hell world of queue! Also, I'm not sure if I spelled that correctly. Waiting for dad's turn at the genius bar...

... Still waiting...

Housekeeping

OK, closing a few tabs here.

1. Reusse's obit for Kirby

2. A post about Kirby that made me smile, from one of my favorite professors.

3. Warren Ellis' comments on Senator Bill Napoli's description of how a woman could earn her abortion by being raped badly enough.

4. A new defniton of the word "napoli", in the spirit of "santorum."

The last two deal with recent shenanigans in South Dakota, about which you can likly surmise my reaction and rant. As I haven't the energy these days to scream into the void about church and state, male fear of female power, religion being used as a tool for oppression, etc, etc, ad nauseum, I'll just say:

Insert impotent ranting here.

Kirby Puckett

One of my earliest memories is of playing baseball in my neighbor's yard, hearing him introduce himself as "Kirbeeeeeeeeeeee Puckett" in a squeaky preschool voice. I watched the 1987 World Series in another friend's living room with a slew of neighbors, cheering, moaning, and generally staying up way past my bedtime. I have games six and seven of the 1991 Series on tape, and nearly wore out the end of game six, that fabulous catch and the infamous "we'll see you.... TOMORROW NIGHT!" The next night he came through again.

I thought my heart was broken when he had to end his career early due to glaucoma. Today he's dead at forty-five, and I'm beyond shock. He did so much for people in Minnesota, and always seemed to have a grin on his face, even after signing autographs for umpteen screaming kids (and their parents, and neighbors, and likely every Minnesotan ever).

I can't even say any more. I just want my childhood back.

News Breifs

1. Good news: Walmart will stock Plan B. Money still talks louder than Fundies.

2. Very Strange News: Shotgun wedding... to a goat. Don't they just charge you with beastiality for goat-fucking in most places?

3. Turtle news: None, really. Going swimming tonight, as the running thing came to an abrupt, ankle-related halt. The swimming may soon come to an abrupt sinus-related halt, but I'm running out of indoor exercise so we'll jump off that bridge once we get there.

OK, I'm boring myself to sleep, so I'll sign off until I have something more interesting to report!