Sunday, October 31, 2004

Trick or Treat

I had candy duty for the first part of the evening. Had some very cute small people at the front door. I had to turn the job over to mom, though, when the mother of a darling little witch started talking to me. She was explaining to me that she was a neighbor, and where she lived. I studdered and stumbled and managed to give her my name, then explained for absolutely no reason that my mother was home but couldn't come to the door. "Oh, so you don't live here?" she asked. I explained that yes I do, but... yeah, there was no real way to end that sentence because there's really no good way to say "I'm rarely home and I don't go in for meeting the neighbors on account of being the most socially awkward person EVER."

The most amusing part of the evening was when I was still making an effort to see the costumes. Was talking on the phone and said, "hang on, I have to go see what the small people are wearing." I got upstairs, saw my cousins at the door shoving their way in past my mother and hightailed it back downstairs saying, "no good, the small people are related to me."

You probably had to be there.

Theatre Arts

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take the Performance and Social Change course offered by the theater department as my final outside of department course. Conversely, talk me into it. Because damn, that would be a good time.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Russian Syntax is a Bitch

OK, so here's my translation, followed by notes nobody cares about.

I loved you -- by A.S. Pushkin

I loved you; love remains, perhaps,
In my heart it has not died out entirely.
But let it no longer trouble you,
I don't want to sadden you with anything.

I loved you silently, hopelessly,
Now shyness, now jealousy torment me:
I loved you so sincerely, so tenderly,
May god grant you are this beloved of another.

1) This translation is highly literal. Others found online are much prettier. Google it.
2) In line two of the second stanza the verb "to torment" is conjugated as "we torment." I am not sure if this is a colloquial way of saying "they torment"; if it is a meditation on the human condition, as in "we torment ourselves with shyness and jealousy"; or if it is a what-might-have-been statement: "we (as a hypotheticalpair) are tormented (in this case, to the point of not being a "we") with shyness and jealousy." I have defaulted to the connotation I found most prevalent in other translations, because I have three years of High School Russian and that sucks. But I think my last option would be the coolest possible meaning.
3) The last line is highly idiomatic, and I'm very proud I made any sense of it at all, let alone managed an acceptable traslation for it (n.b. my modus operandi was to try my hand with the dictionary and what I know of Russian, then check it against a million online translations to see if I had made any glaring errors; I did not consider a lack of poetic license to be an error, as previously stated, so... yeah, not too pretty).
4) What the fuck was my Russian teacher thinking, assigning this poem to teenagers? Good god, the melodrama!

Friday, October 29, 2004

So Much Strange

I had a single line of poetry stuck in my head today during class. It was in Russian. I could not remember what poem it came from, but I thought it might have been the first line from one of the Shakespearean sonnets that I memorized way back in HS. I translated it as best I could and dug through the Complete Works, only to be stymied. So, I ran my translation throught google, and found that the line is actually from Pushkin. So. Here you go:

I'm translating it now. I'll post it when it's done. Yes, it wasn't bad enough that I came home early on a Friday night to sleep. I'm being distracted from that goal by Russian translation.


The sex scene in 8 Mile (the one between Eminem and Brittany Murphy) is the LEAST. SEXY. THING. EVER.

I have to go wash my brain.

Not that I own this cheesy ass movie or anything.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

News on the Election Front

Still more dodgy election practices being reported. If you witness anything, there are some things you can do to make sure it's investigated.

Important: many of these reports indicate that the harassment and misinformation is coming from both sides. This is not conclusive, and I frankly don't think it matters. Next Tuesday, November 2nd, is voting day. Your employer must let you take time off from work to vote. There is no rain delay for elections -- regardless of weather, voting will take place next Tuesday. You can vote even if you have already voted in an election this year. And finally, if you do not vote in this election any comments you make to this blog on political topics will be deleted. Hell, write in your mom if you think she'd be any better than these guys. Or else prepare to lie to me (Ryan, just vote, you know you don't lie for shit).


1. Part of one of my fillings came out today as I was chewing gum. Ouch.

2. Cat spent at least an hour dragging his "special friend" the stuffed dog around the house today, so that he might always be in sight of me whilst performing carnal acts with his plushie.

3. Who the hell holds a conference in Dallas in July?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Go Sox

Curse? What curse?

Yeah, despite their fans' unfortunate parodying of Yanks fans, I'm glad they took it.

Writer's Block

The scene: my desk.
The action: writing a proposal for a final paper.
The drama:

Me: *types*
Computer: *displays what is typed*
Me: Well, it's a sentence. It's not a good sentence, but it's more than I had.
Me: *bangs head on desk*
Desk: *hurts head*

I know exactly what I want to do for this paper, but I can't get the fucking words on to paper because I'm so damn afraid the professor(s) are gonna hate it.

Dear Self-confidence,



Tuesday, October 26, 2004

The Dionaea House

BBC NEWS: New Florida vote scandal feared

And more voting hijinx.

Also, it seems that some folks can't tell the difference between and it's parody site The result? The parody site gets a bunch of emails for folks at the campaign site.

It's a scandalicious day in the neighborhood, boys and girls!

Now I'm gacking links from Jon again

New Investigation Uncovers More Racism, Voter Intimidation and Faulty Poll Machines.

Like G.I. Joe said, knowing is half the battle. So some folks got it in their heads to make sure that folks in primarily Black neighborhoods "know" that if it's raining on election day they can vote the next day.

Oh, and Jon has moved here. Go say hi, and take a gander at Eminem's new video (Jon links to it). It's pretty cool, very political, and animated. This has the added effect of making me giggle because cartoons look funny when they grab their crotches.

Yeah, I never really matured beyond fourteen years old.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Facism Checklist

I'm not saying anything definite, I'm just saying if the shoe fits...

Saturday, October 23, 2004


Don't think I'm not on to you people.

I purposely leave off politics for my sanity the duration of the campaigning, and folks go on to discuss them in comments. That's OK, don't mind my wild-eyed moaning the content, I know when the people have spoken.

So, since there's no way to avoid controversy here, I'd simply like to note that the Yankees of the late 90's could have kicked ass against the tossers who claimed to play for my team this year. And frankly, until the Sox have actually won the Series for the first time in umpteen years, let alone caught up the Yanks' 26 wins, I do believe their fans might want to put their cocks away. The Curse has still not been lifted, ladies and gents, and I'm tempted to break time-honored tradition of rooting for the AL in hopes that St. Louis will prove it.

After all, if Yanks fans piss you off so bad why would you go out of your way to emulate them? The "who's your daddy" bit was bad enough the first go-round.

Baseball: so much more fun to bitch about than politics.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Read me

Go read Fallen. Seriously, I love it.

*is big internet comics geek*

I love my job

Dear student,

Bitch, are you for real? Did you really just accuse me of grading unfairly WITHOUT SEEING YOUR GRADED PAPER?!?! [n.b. the class is huge, so in order to get papers back they have to come to my office]

When you said "to me, getting 50% on a generously graded assignment means not having done the assignment at all," you were joking, right? Because if you hadn't done the assignment at all you would have gotten a zero. Most people who got fifty percent did so out of the good of my heart, after turning in glorified rants that were only vaguely related to the assignment questions.

And finally, this business of expecting me to address this strictly over email. I have come to the conclusion that you are really quite the joker, because I cannot fathom someone seriously thinking that I would retype all of the comments I made on their paper into an unsecure medium, risking confidentiality issues of grave importance, all because email "works better for [you]."

Get a fucking life.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Riot Gear.

There are cops in RIOT GEAR on the field at Yankee Stadium.

I hope the umps have bodyguards.

Dear Katherine,

Just another birthday celebration...

I logged on to compose another verse of the "my father is a motherfucking bastard" operetta, but I lack enthusiasm. He's a bastard, he treats me like shit, and my birthday is no real reason to expect a reprieve from that. Lather, rinse, repeat.

MRIs apparently have a soporific effect on me. Slept through nearly the entire thing, after twelve hours of sleep last night.

Ima go get back to falling apart now.

Monday, October 18, 2004

26 years ago today...

... I was CUTE!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Go to work, guys.

El Mundo has placed Bin Laden in China, ready to be turned over to the US (translation here). It's not showing up on any of the networks yet. October surprise, or false alarm? Go to it, bloodhounds!

Saturday, October 16, 2004


Gacked from Al, Jon Stewart schools the Crossfire guys and the best they can come up with is "why aren't you being funny? Be funny!" I especially like it when they try to turn the tables on him for lobbing softball questions at Kerry. Uh, guys? You do realize that's like criticizing Jay Leno's skills as an investigative reporter, right?

Excellent: even the guys who report the news can't tell news from entertainment.

Friday, October 15, 2004

A Few Things

1. Blogger is sucking, so this will probably not show up until tomorrow. Classy.

2. Saw doctor today for knee. Have MRI appointment for tuesday. There has been veiled talk of having to "go in" and do something. We will dismiss this talk as paranoia and assume that I am simply in for some PT and time off from dancing. My irrational fear of sharp pointy things demands it.

3. I have the most schizophrenic musical taste ever. Brother Ali to Buffalo Springfield to a song from the Buffy musical (why yes, I'm listening to iTunes in alphabetical order). Next up: Charlie Parker. There must be five different people living in my head.

4. This not dancing thing sucks ass. I have this downtime habit of puttering on the computer while listening to iTunes, which I am presently indulging. Normally, I would occasionally be seized by convulsions that, if you squint, look a bit like dance. Since I'm unable to do this right now, I am doing some DAMN STOOPID LOOKING dance-with-only-your-upper-body shit that is COMPLETELY UNSATISFYING. I AM UNAMUSED.

This post sponsored by chronic knee injury. I'm CJ and I DO NOT APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!!!

Flip Flops

Thursday, October 14, 2004

O'Reilly Hit With Sex Harassment Suit

Bill O'Reilly is apparently a big perv. My favorite is the creative use of hummus. What is it with the foodstuffs scandals? I could live the rest of my life without hearing any more food fantasies from philandering famous people. Sheesh.

Phantom of the Opera, Revisited

So, the other day when I couldn't remember finding the punk cover of "Phantom..."? Yeah, turns out I blogged about it.

In other news, head still firmly attached at shoulders, and tap class cancelled tonight. Normally I love to tap, but as my knee has been wiggling rather disgustingly (not to mention painfully), it'll be a welcome rest.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


It's no secret that I think Bush will win this election, and that this will be detrimental in some way. I'm not sure which way I think it will be detrimental, though. I'm pretty scared about the prospect of a bunch of Kentucky Fried Christians being appointed to the Supreme Court, because I like my right to control whether or not I pop out the puppies. (Fun fact: the guy in charge of Operation Rescue is against BC but favors condoms because men are in charge of using them. But really, it's not about women's rights, it's about religious freedom. What the fuck ever.)

Notably, I don't fear any greater level of terrorism on these shores. That's not to say that I think it won't happen; rather, I think that, as horrible as OKC, the first WTC bombing, and 9/11 were, this is not our main domestic security concern. Presently, one of the neighborhoods in which I spent time growing up is beset by violent crime. This is an area that was considered fairly safe when I was hanging out there, but is now Murder Central for Minneapolis. It was once a working class neighborhood, but is now increasingly inpoverished. While it's been a few years since my crim. degree, I do seem to remember unemployment and underemployment being associated with rising crime rates. The types of jobs that would benefit this area don't even cross Bush's radar. Even when new jobs are created, they are not geographically or educationally accessible to the people in places that need them most. This threat from within -- within our borders, within our own economic and political agendas -- is a bigger threat than foreign terrorists.

I'm not sure what else I can actually see happening over the next four years. I've seen people paint the picture of destruction of natural resources, which I can kind of see but don't know enough about current legislation to speak to. And I've seen rambling about this being our last election for awhile, but I tend to think that's a Democtatic scare tactic, akin to saying that if Kerry's elected terrorists will attack again.

So. Whaddya think? What'll happen over the next four years? And on a related note, what the hell is up with Mark Dayton?

Monday, October 11, 2004


Have done sweet fuck all since coming home from swimming this evening. Poossibly this is due to not being able to lift arms above head. Haven't been swimming enough lately.

I spent most of today in transit, bouncing from place to place while reading a very good book that won't come up in class for another four weeks. Good show, CJ. You'll notice, though, that nothing that needs to be done THIS WEEK actually is.

Except for the planning of the b-day festivities. Reservations have been made, invitations emailed. If you read this, are in Minneapolis, and feel that your lack of invitation is distinctly unjust, that is probably because I don't keep an address book like a normal person, and thus had to rely on my own mental abilities to invite all of my local friends. In short, drop me an email and I'll send you the details.

OK, I'm off to bed so as to get up early and do work that actually needs to be done this weekend. G'night!

Sunday, October 10, 2004

The hell?

How the hell did a punk cover of "Phantom of the Opera" end up in my iTunes library? Granted, I have some pretty random shit on there (today's rec: "Love me, I'm a Liberal," by Phil Ochs originally but covered nicely for the nineties by Jello Biafra), but I usually remember acquiring it.

A TIE?!?!?!

Latest polls show Minnesota as dead tied?!?! The state whose Democratic party name includes farmers and labor? The state that gave us Paul Wellstone?

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, people. What the fuck?

Saturday, October 09, 2004

I am broken. I am bereft.

Derrida has died. And I understand the associated black humor. Which of these is the bigger tragedy? For my money, the latter.

World View

Weekend Update

1. Grandma out of hospital.

2. Mom in urgent care.

3. Have to buy baby b-day present.

4. Have to plan own b-day festivities.

5. Am considering haircut. With bangs.

6. May soon be crying to blog about bangs.

7. need new earrings, of a sort that do not cause skin to rebel.

8. Am off to sort out some of this.

See ya!

Friday, October 08, 2004


Yeah, shortly after my last post I through in "High Fidelity" and surfed porn for two hours instead of watching the debate. Sue me, I've heard it all. I heard the part about a "back-door draft," which sounded rather porny itself, but beyond that I thought I'd just catch up with it tomorrow. I caught up with all of the smart assde remarks chez Wonkette. Jump on over there and laugh yourself silly.


Oh. My. God. Even the moderator is a pompous ass. "I will hold them to these time limits forcefully but politely." Get a grip, asshole, they're the president of the Unites States and a US senator. You'll lick their boots just like every other media buffoon whose livelihood depends on being seen as sympathetic to pols.

EDIT: Aaaand Bush just shouted him down. Forceful, my ass.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

In brief

1. Still alive.

2. Work has sorted out asexual reproduction. Am frantic.

3. Grandma in hospital. No word yet as to what's wrong.

4. Bus system sucks NC-17 rated body parts. Huge ones.

5. Have still more work to do before bed.

Good night!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004


The men in my mother's family have this problem. They can't feel confident unless they believe that they're making someone afraid. If they disagree with you, they're not happy with respectful disagreement and a statement of their respective positions. They must attack you verbally, make it clear that because you disagree with them you are morally corrupt, make a straw-man out of your point of view instead of arguing their own, and make sure that everyone watching knows that, should they dare to disagree, they will have it much worse than you did.

It's really creepy how much Head Dick reminds me of one of my uncles right now.

Dear Dick,
Saying "I can respond, but it's gonna take more than thirty seconds" and "there's so many inaccuracies, I don't know where to start" is cheap. It wastes your valuable response time, and suggests that you think merely making that statement should be enough to sway the viewers to your side. That's not how it works. You are not chief authority on everything, and we don't automatically believe all of your arrogant blanket statements, no matter how hard you bully us with the specter of "disrespecting the troops." You have to make your case just like the other guy.

Bush did better than this, you arrogant fuckwad. He at least tried to make an argument. Please deal with your entitlement issues in private.
No love,

Monday, October 04, 2004

Comcast and Hilarity

As Comcast is owned and operated by demons, my internet connection is sketchy at present. If you need to reach me in a timely manner, please call. I'll be on campus for some amount of time for each of the next two days, so email will still be fairly reliable during afternoons, but phone is the best bet until one of the drones techs can come out and exorcise fix my connection.

Since I seem to still have a connection at present, I'll push my luck by posting my favorite story from this weekend. I cooked (!) channa masala (Indian dish; chick peas, tomatoes, chilies, onions, many, many spices, etc.; very good) on saturday night, and was moderately surprised when mom said she wanted to try it when it was done. See, she watched me chop up most of the ingredients, including a fairly obscene amount of hot chilies. She's not got the most tolerant palate for hot things. Nonetheless, she was drawn to the marvelous smell (seriously, it's heaven), so I served her the first helping.

She later explained that she quite enjoys the taste of mild, quiet little chick peas, and so thought it wouldn't be THAT hot. She still enjoyed it, just less of it than expected, and with more rice. I told her that it wasn't as hot as it should be, as I'd decided to double the recipe at the last minute, and only had two-thirds of the doubled amount of chilies on hand. She thinks I'm mental.

I clearly didn't get my taste for all things spicy from the distaff side of my family.

Sunday, October 03, 2004


Public Perceptions of the Foreign Policy Positions of the Presidential Candidates (dated September 29th, 2004)

"Majorities of Bush supporters incorrectly assumed that Bush favors including labor and environmental standards in trade agreements (84%), and the US being part of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (69%), the International Criminal Court (66%), the treaty banning land mines (72%), and the Kyoto Treaty on global warming (51%). They were divided between those who knew that Bush favors building a new missile defense system now (44%) and those who incorrectly believe he wishes to do more research until its capabilities are proven (41%)."

Kerry supporters were much more accurate in assessing their candidate???s positions on all these issues.

"Majorities knew that Kerry favors including labor and environmental standards in trade agreements (90%); the US being part of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (77%); the International Criminal Court (59%); the land mines treaty (79%); and the Kyoto Treaty on climate change (74%). They also knew that he favors continuing research on missile defense without deploying a system now (68%), and wants the UN, not the US, to take the stronger role in developing Iraq's new government (80%). A plurality of 43% was correct that Kerry favors keeping defense spending the same, with 35% assuming he wants to cut it and 18% to expand it."

An informed vote is your choice, and your responsibility. Frankly, right now Americans disgust me.

How I Cope

I always know I've reached the first truly stressful part of the term when I start doing extensive research into the awesomeness of sociology departments in Britain vis a vis the one I'm currently matriculated in. I want badly to go to the University of Lancaster. This will pass once I 1) remember exactly how broke I am and how unlikely this is to chance should I plan an un-funded transfer abroad; 2) hear back from the professor I emailed last thursday requesting a meeting this week to go over a paper for this term; or 3) get through the presentation I have to make on wednesday. If it does not pass, it will at least be beat into submission by number 1, combined with my laziness and general inertia.

Now, off to spend my valuable time NOT PANICKING and doing actual work.

The Infinite Cat Project

Saturday, October 02, 2004


"Motorcycle Diaries" is as good as the trailer suggests.

Go see it. Now.


So that you understand the batshit insanity that is my work this term, I just transcribed this sentence:

"We?ve been married twenty-five years, and I?ve asked myself, how did I ever get involved with working with singles and single-again individuals, helping them get prepared for marriage? And I realized that my interest really peaked around the time that I became interested in gun collecting."


Friday, October 01, 2004

A letter to an email account

Dear Gmail,

GIVE ME MY GODDAMN MAIL!!! "Oops! The system was able to perform your operation" was not a satisfactory reply when I clicked on my new message.

Fuck you,