Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Deep Throat revealed.

How hideously boring. Secrets are only intriguing so long as their secret.

Sunday, May 29, 2005


The moral of the story is not to take a three-hour nap at four in the afternoon.

So. How 'bout some links? We'll start with this, which is the coolest thing ever. I want one. Desperately.

Then comes Valiant, a book I highly recommend. It takes place in the same world as the author's first book, Tithe, about which I have previously ranted and raved. Read them. Now.

Want to know what I've been up to? Katherine and I had massive adventure on Thursday, which has likely been the highlight of my summer thus far. EL and I went thrifting this morning, wherein we massively scored on clothes. I found jeans. They fit. And look GOOD. This is unheard of.

I've been knitting a lot, and made myself a new purse from this pattern. EL and I dyed the yarn for it in an action-packed evening of fun-with-kool-aid, which yielded two skeins in two complimentary shades of pinkish. As I am unable to let any pattern go un-monkeyed-with, I made the bag slightly wider and longer, and added a massively cute side pocket. I totally rock.

And no post would be complete without those links that make you say "WTF?" First we have Tom DeLay, who has apparently missed the boat on satire and parody laws, not to mention the difference between reality and fiction.

Next up, those goddamn activist judges who have decided that, since the Constitution only says that Congress shall pass no law abridging the freedom of religion, they are clearly entitled to tell a divorced couple that they cannot teach their child Wicca because it involves ""non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals." Let's wrap our heads around this one: in an odd turn of events, a divorced couple AGREES on the religious upbringing of their child. The court steps in anyway. Against the objections of both parties. Am I drunk? Dude, I got kicked out of my dad's house because I wouldn't cook and provide maid service after my mom left. I'm just sayin', if you don't have a real problem, why the fuck would you invent an imaginary one? I don't care if they worship goats, and the courts shouldn't. But maybe I'm just a bit to far from mainstream for legal comfort.

OK, I'm done with the snark. I'm off to try to sleep again. G'night!

Edit at five freakin' thirty: STILL AWAKE!!! Dammit.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Out of Context Funnies

Bill: ... and I'm in siberia all day tomorrow, so am not needed.

(Bill is in rehersal for Fiddler on the Roof. It really DOES make sense, even though he's not leaving Minnesota, which at times resembles Siberia, but not right now. Well, maybe right now, as it's spring there, too, but... yeah, I'm gonna stop typing now.)

Sunday, May 22, 2005


So, my mom just finally got an up-to-date, modern-like com-pew-tor system. She has taken to this newfangled thing rather slowly, largely because she spends all day at work on one and thus doesn't see the need to play on it.

Now, my mother has this thing about coming downstairs: she doesn't do it. I'm fine with this, you can stand at the top of the stairs, raise your voice a bit and it'll go right in to my room. Mom thinks this is too much work. She usually rings my mobile phone from her (stationary) one (this is the woman who hates cell phones with a passion) if she needs me to do something. Tonight she figured out that she can effectively have even less contact with me, thanks to her new computer: I got an email telling me to change the laundry over.

Our email exchange:

*I hear my "you've got mail" chirp just as I hear the sound of her computer powering down from upstairs, and I go for the kill.*

She hates when I do that.

Damn Sick

Caugh all night, sleep all day - that's the motto around these parts this weekend. I finally cleaned off the LoveSac (baby) and got an extra five hours of sleep instead of going to knit/crochet group.

Someday I'll be able to sleep lying down again. That day will be sweet.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Moral High Ground?

Dan Savage weighs in on the fight against HPV vaccinations: "While the religious right's war on gay rights gets all the headlines, their war on straight rights gains ground daily. They've destroyed sex education in this country, undermined abortion rights, and successfully prevented emergency contraception from being made available over the counter. Now they're going to block the HPV vaccine. Why? Because the American Taliban would rather see sexually active women dead than vaccinated."

Go read the rest, I'll wait. Really, go read this week's column...

What I like is that Dan charges folks who usually take their sexual freedom for granted with taking action: this isn't about abortion, this is about folks not being allowed vaccinations against one of the most common STDs because of the (still faulty!) logic that teaching safe sex encourages kids to have sex (n.b. we don't assume that teaching kids to wear oven mitts when making dinner causes them to learn to cook; there are hundreds of ways every day that we say "should you find yourself in this situation, here's your safest bet."). Because really, folks, the worst thing you can do is teach your kids that women have any kind of sexual agency. From there it's a slippery slope to a world where everyone can sleep with whomever they choose without answering to the government somewhere along the way. There will be orgies in the streets; your daughters will suddenly give up men and fuck each other. Your sons will stop beating the shit out of each other trying to impress girls and start trying to impress one another. It'll be ANARCHY!

Yeah, OK, I haven't had much sleep.

What I didn't like about Dan this week: Sweet Jesus Christ on Toast, get your activism the fuck off my body. I am sick to death of the repeated, rehearsed statistics that say "If you're a sexually active woman, assume you have HPV and get annual Pap tests." Excuse the fuck out of me, I will NOT assume that I am diseased. Don't give me that shit about preventative health care -- I have perpetual sinus infections, and yet no doctor has ever told me to "assume I have a sinus infection and get tested yearly." And don't even try to tell me that it can't have the same effects: any prolonged, untreated infection can create abmormalities in surrounding tissue (n.b. this is the main reason I had my wisdom teeth pulled: they came in straight, but one was very slow and the surrounding tissue was infected for most of the seven years that they left it in my mouth. When they finally sent me to an Oral Surgeon, he looked at it and said it needed to come out ASAP).

I'm disappointed that Dan didn't specifically associate the need to vocalize against the "American Taliban" with those who promote this pathology assumption. It seems to me that the Cult of Women's Health can be nearly as demeaning as the Religious Right in the way it treats women's bodies as contested territory; while the latter treats "morality" as superior to agency, the other gives primacy to "health."

I've taken a personal stand on this one, and it's an unpopular one all around: I will let neither the Religious Right nor the Activist* Left colonize my reproductive system. So long as every time I visit a doctor I am asked three times (at least) if there's any chance I could be preggers or have an STD, so long as I am unable to visit old friends at the sexual assault crisis center where I used to volunteer without some obnoxious fundie decidint to physically block my entry to the building because the top floor houses a clinic that performs abortions, so long as both sides imply that I am a less than ideal woman because I do not stringently follow their edicts, I will ignore all of them. I will see a doctor if I feel ill or if I need a physical for some reason (lord knows I'm bound to need more joints repaired). Because if I end up aborting a fetus (fat fucking chance, what with the vow of celibacy I seem to have accidentally taken) or becoming one of the 4100 women who die from cervical cancer every year (do they even realize how riciculous that sounds? why aren't we all routinely screened for lung cancer, if those are the kinds of state that move us to action? or for shitty driving records?), I'll at least know that I did so on my own terms, without The Experts or The Moral Authority breathing down my neck.

Yeah, so, I'm a little opinionated about this. You should have seen me bite my tongue when my shrink ordered me to make my OB/GYN my primary care physicianwho looks after all of my health care issues. Did I mention I don't see thhat therapist any more?

*I couldn't find a more descriptive term than the Freirian use of the word "Activism." Freire writes that true praxis is a combination of action with philosophical reflection; remove this reflection, and praxis becomes simply activism: action without reason, practice without theory. He also writes a lot of good stuff about different models of education and their effectiveness in perpetuating and/or disrupting existing heirarchies of oppression.

And now it's REALLY late, so I'm going to bed.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Dear Spammers,

While I thank you for your thoughtful offer, it would take a hell of a lot more than a pill to "enlarge [my] manhood." Though Dr. Freud might think you were on to something regarding my psyche. Of course, I wouldn't trust the opinion of a coke addict who was in love with his mother in matters concerning penis size and/or existance.

Yrs very truly,

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Why it Bothers Me

It's not just time that I have invested in my education.

I moved away from somewhere that had just started to feel like home.

I put a major source of utter bliss on hold due to lack of proximity to bubbly water.

I fairly well ruined the physical integrity of my wrists in doing this.

I ruined my mental health by "hanging in there" while people who should know better enjoyed their status above me in the educational heiarchy.

I want out, but I want out with my degree. But I'm afraid that I have nothing left to invest.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Goddammit, Stop Sending me Mail

Well, the love letter from the department came today. It's truly amazing how you can go from "congrats, you're making good progress" to "we're considering kicking you out of the department."

I don't bloody fucking care, at this moment how much it IS just a scare tactic. It's one that they have decided to try on my cohort, and bekieve me, it has not scared me. It has only made me more convinced that I should look into other grad school options.

If you're in my program and would like to voice your opinion, I'd love to hear it. In the meantime, none of the fucking professors I have emailed about meeting to discuss degree program stuff/being on my committee have emailed me back, so the threats ring doubly obnoxious.

Monday, May 16, 2005


My Day, in email and snail mail.

* Dear CJ, we Need To Talk about your progress toward your degree. With onimous overtones, your advisor.

* Dear CJ, you got an A. I love the work you've done and hope you'll continue to do it. With warm fuzzies, your theater professor.

* Dear CJ, you fucked up your taxes and will be receiving $400 less than you expected in return. Fuck you very much, the IRS.


Go CJ, it's your Birthday!

Not really, but do it anyway!

This revisitation of junior high brought to you by the fact that I got an A in my very favorite course of ALL TIME!

Musical Personality Disorder

My iTunes player just went from "My Vagina" to "Big Poppa."*

iTunes: where "alphabetical by artists" is more random than the random function.

*artists are NOFX and Biggie, respectively. Also, they followed Nina Simons's cover of "Ain't Got No/I Got Life" from HAIR. Random, yo.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


After two hours of sleep and more hours than I want to think about agonizing over a simple thirteen page paper, I'M DONE. I'm off to bed before I fall asleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



OK, I got that out of my system. I just heard him sing "I got life" and went a little nutso. One of the best rock voices I've ever heard. He originated the role of Roger in RENT, and I fell in love with his voice back when I was a huge Rent-head. Now, HAIR is my favorite musical ever and a revival would be so very apropos at this particular moment in time that the very idea of it SENDS ME INTO HARRY POTTER STYLE CAPSLOCK ABUSE.

And this entry just passed it's dork quotient. Back to work!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Dorkery of the Harry Potter Variety. Skip at Will.

The other night I was chatting with Friends (hi, E&M!) and opined that I suspect that in the next Harry Potter book there will be less of the "don't tell Dumbledore"-based getting into trouble and more of the "Dumbledore's with us and we're still fucked" variety. I think this is logical, as in the last book Dumbledore finally brought Harry up to speed and admitted that he's gonna have to know grown-up things in order to do a grown-up job. In return, Harry's more likely to ask for help now that he won't be "protected" (ha!) for his troubles.

The cover of the deluxe edition of Half-Blood Prince suggests that I just might be right.

Is it July yet?

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Sitting here, listening to iTunes and grading. I hear the opening guitar part from "As My Guitar Gently Weeps" and start to groove, only to shortly realize that it's actually the mashup with "What More Can I Say?" off The Grey Album. Here's the dumbass part: I do this every time I hear it. Here's the dumber-ass part: it's not the first song on the album, and the songs are in order on my playlist.

I seem to have added an extra-large scoop of dumb to my tea this morning.

Things that bug me

1. Snobbery, when aimed at my personal taste. Different opinions and tastes? I'm OK with that. Implying that I have no taste because I like something you don't? Fucking snobbery.

2. Male snobbery, because it inevitably smacks of male priviledge: "look at the silly little girl who doesn't know quality." (Yeah, I got issues. It's a "things that bug me list," for god's sake, not a "things that oughtta bug you" list. :-)

3. Students who make vague and inaccurate "youth crime is out of control" statements to justify and introduce their research papers after being explicitly told that these statements would cost them points, complete with example statements.

4. Vocalists who hit final T's too hard. Completely breaks up a song, man.

5. People who send me emails engind with vague references to impending negative events in their lives without explaining. HELLO, I HAVE ANXIETY DISORDERS!!!

6. Finals week.

7. My tendency toward procrastination.


Sunday, May 08, 2005

New Identity

Due to various acts of ass haberdashery, I have a new AIM screen name. If you want to talk to me on AIM, I'm "CJ xturtle".

Yahoo messenger remains xturtle78.

Asshats who know who they are are already blocked from contact from the new screen name, so don't even think about it.

Back to grading fucking papers.




I Need to Sleep

I'm sitting here grading papers and listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. At one point during the Chorale I swear I heard "Diner's open, Willy Lohman."

And I know most of the words to this sucker.

Time for sleeping is now!

Friday, May 06, 2005



Why the Fuck aren't we Taxing the Churches?

This one is excommunicating people who voted for Kerry. Look, I don't CARE what your religion tells you to believe, or if you wanna vote based on two issues because of it. It's your vote. But when a church starts attacking members based on what is supposed to be a personal choice, that's an attempt to directly influence the political system in this country, and that goes directly against the seperation of church and state. This, coincidentally, is where churches get off not paying taxes.

Think of all the budget problems that could be fixed...

EDIT: If this worries you or otherwise pisses you off, here is a great list of things to do. I know that I have at least a couple of religious folk reading, so let me remind you, as someone else reminded me, "...that the separation of church and state doesn't just keep the church out of the state, it keeps the state out of the church. Open that can of worms, and you're not gonna like the task of getting 'em all back in."

We should all care about this one.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Hope in Texas?

Senfronia Thompson is my latest heroine.

My favorite quote:

Let's look at what this amendment does not do: It does not give one Texas citizen meaningful tax relief. It does not reform or fully fund our education system. It does not restore one child to CHIP, who was cut from health insurance last session. It does not put one dime into raising Texas' Third World access to health care. It does not do one thing to care for or protect one elderly person or one child in this state. In fact, it does not even do anything to protect one marriage.


EDIT: Wanna show support? Send email.


Haven't we done this once before?

What year is it? Have I ingested too many anti-anxiety pills? The hell?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I'm Still Here

End of term is limiting my blogging time, but it's also limiting blogging material, so at least I'm not creating a backlog. So, here's the numbered update:

1. Final project workshop went beautifully. I'm currently writing the paper that goes with it.

2. Students are less stupid than usual this term. I quite heart them. Their papers are readable. This is good, as there are seventy of them.

3. My grandma is dying. My mom's brothers and sisters are fighting over her furniture. Good times.

4. I saw "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" on Friday. Very good times. I love the music. And the knitted versions of the characters. I also brought a towel to the movie. I am SUCH a dork.

5. There is an inordinate amount of music on my iTunes playlist that is in French. I have no idea how this happened.

6. There is no number six.

7. Now I'm just procrastinating. Back to work!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


You know, I was being sarcastic when I observed that the freedom of religion was really just freedom of Judeo-Christian religions.

Reason why it's OK for a county to make a law limiting what kind of religious prayers can be used to open civic meetings: "The Judeo-Christian tradition is, after all, not a single faith but an umbrella covering many faiths..."

That judge obviously has the copy of the constitution where it says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of many religions, or prohibiting the free exercise of the ones they like best."

Monday, May 02, 2005

Funniest thing I've read all day

Creating Textiles is one of the knitting. etc., blogs that I read religiously. Today's post about site referral statistics leads to the very frightening idea of Morris Dancing Naked. Go, read, laugh. Too freakin' funny.

Confidential to Maeven

You haven't been on IM (don't let finals kill you!), so I had to leave you a message on the off-chance you visit: SG has updated again, and it's FANTASTIC.

To everyone else, I'm so not explaining that.