Sunday, January 30, 2005

For the Record

There is something that holds men accountable for their sexual actions: women's right to choose. If a guy knows that a woman's choice stands between him and a good chunk of his paycheck for the next eighteen years, he's probably a fuck of a lot less likely to refuse to wear a raincoat.

Having an abortion is not a "cop-out." It is an invasive surgical procedure for which, at least in Minnesota, one must go through a degrading preparation procedure that involves exaggeration of the risks of the procedure and mandated psychological evaluation, so that by the time you are on the table, after having first made a very difficult decision, you are more scared and more emotionally drained than you were when you came in. This is not "the easy way out."

EDIT: Wait, since we're holding everyone accountable for the outcomes of their sexual encounters, no more treatment for STDs! I mean, unless you know you WANT to contract one there's no way you'd have sex, right? Because even with protection there's still a CHANCE you might end up on the itchy and scratchy show. Why should doctors provide services for an outcome that you KNEW was possible?

Yeah, sounds pretty fucked up, right?

Dear Fair-Minded Republicans,

If you are still willing to associate with a party that tries to make it illegal for gay men to donate sperm and make it legal for doctors to deny treatment to homosexuals, I suggest you do some serious, vocal activist work within your own party to get those who would use their religious ideal to make our government just "small" enough to fit in one's bedroom the hell out of the party. Because AIDS is NOT a gay disease (as suggested by reasoning in the first article, though all donations are tested), and you WILL be tarred with the same brush as those you help elect. And if you continue to do nothing against these zealots, you are by default identifying as one of them. Unless, of course, you are not as fair-minded as I thought you were, and are in favor of another "lavender scare" that encourages fear and mistrust of homosexuals. In which case, we should probably have words.

I know that this goes against my policy of giving Republicans the benefit of the doubt most of the time. I know quite a few lovely people who self-identify as Republican but are not obnoxious biggots. You might think I'm being unreasonable. I think it's damn well time you make use of the benefit of the doubt. Your side is in power. How about trying to make them accountable for what they do with it?

And if you really think making abortion illegal means forcing women to be responsible for their sex lives, you are no longer welcom here. Period. That is misogyny at its basest, and we have nothing further to say to one another.


Friday, January 28, 2005

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

For the record, this is where you'll find me next halloween. Too freakin' cool.

Why yes, I do own a much-loved copy of Nightmare Before Christmas. Why do you ask?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

No on Gonzales

As Seen in The Daily Koz:

"As the prime legal architect for the policy of torture adopted by the Bush Administration, Gonzales's advice led directly to the abandonment of longstanding federal laws, the Geneva Conventions, and the United States Constitution itself. Our country, in following Gonzales's legal opinions, has forsaken its commitment to human rights and the rule of law and shamed itself before the world with our conduct at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. The United States, a nation founded on respect for law and human rights, should not have as its Attorney General the architect of the law's undoing.

In January 2002, Gonzales advised the President that the United States Constitution does not apply to his actions as Commander in Chief, and thus the President could declare the Geneva Conventions inoperative. Gonzales's endorsement of the August 2002 Bybee/Yoo Memorandum approved a definition of torture so vague and evasive as to declare it nonexistent. Most shockingly, he has embraced the unacceptable view that the President has the power to ignore the Constitution, laws duly enacted by Congress and International treaties duly ratified by the United States. He has called the Geneva Conventions 'quaint.'

Legal opinions at the highest level have grave consequences. What were the consequences of Gonzales's actions? The policies for which Gonzales provided a cover of legality - views which he expressly reasserted in his Senate confirmation hearings - inexorably led to abuses that have undermined military discipline and the moral authority our nation once carried. His actions led directly to documented violations at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo and widespread abusive conduct in locales around the world."

So, yeah. The man's decisions regarding torture and foreign policy have been disgusting. If you hadn't already guessed that I am once again in the not-in-my-name camp, you really haven't been paying attention.

Monday, January 24, 2005

From the WTF Files:

Ladies, have you ever felt aroused and realized that your sinful wetness was showing? Gents, have you ever felt that the one thing missing from your sex life was the sensation of raping a virgin? Now you can make sure that only one of you is having any fun, just like God intended. And 10% of profits go to a christian charity!

For the record, the product linked is a sexual "enhancement" *snerk* product, and thus may not be safe for work if your workplace is really fucking uptight (in which case, you should probably stay away from my blog while at work as well, since I curse like a sailor and frequently like to sex-related stuff). And if you think stuffing cornstarch up a woman's vagina makes sex more enjoyable for her, just... go away.

OK, Folks.

Do we know anyone who might get a kick out of one of these? Because that's about the funniest gag gift I've seen in awhile.

Sunday, January 23, 2005


I am suffering a massive headache this evening, and was discussing my zombie-like state with Friend Bill:

Me: brains...
Bill: lol eat brains?
Bill: heeheehee sorry, I have none
Me: what's a poor zombie to do?
Bill: hmmmm... I dunno, invade a college, or something...
Me: mmm... pickled brains
Bill: heeheehee no, that's a fraternity
Me: no, that's most of my undergrads regardless of affiliation. they're such waste-oids
Bill: lol gotcha...
Bill: is that pickled brains or smoked brains?
Me: both or either
Me: or simply, yes
Bill: heeheehee of course

And in testament to how brain challenged I am, this post took two tries to compose, and an awful lot of extraneous cutting and pasting.

Stop oppressing... yourself!

Monitor looking a bit dusty?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Still Alive, Just Boring

But my reading material has yours beat all to hell. Excellent book, useful for the Paper of Doom, and less than half the cover price, new, at Half Price Books. With a gift card. Boo-yah.

In other news, we got too much snow on Friday, my drive home took two hours instead of 25 - 30 minutes, and I attended the first meeting of my kick-ass theater class. I even managed most of the mincing about the room and contorting oneself requirements, though the request that we skip included a laugh and a clause: "if you're able." We did a poetry exercise that was just phenomenal, and I can't wait to put it (and other exercises) into practice during the last third of the class.

Off to read some more!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

This Just In:

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Biography TMI

I'm reading a biography of Kurt Cobain for the course I'm TAing this term (Juvenile Delinquency). The author uses pop-psychology to tell what essentially amounts to two stories: the one about what really happened, and the one Cobain told. He calls this "exaggerating in order to tell an emotional truth" or some rot. Bollocks. I call it lying, and pretension. He was a fucking poser right up until he died; good god, he even lied about the first concert he saw in order to claim punk cred.

The author's other major annoying habit is total TIM. I'm sorry, but I really never needed to know how old Kurt Cobain was when he developed pubic hair.

I need to go bleach my brain.

Monday, January 17, 2005


From The Martin Luther King, Jr. Papers Project (link has brief sound clip when opened):

"We must meet hate with love. We must meet physical force with soul force. There is still a voice crying out through the vista of time, saying: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you. Then, and only then, can you matriculate into the university of eternal life. That same voice cries out in terms lifted to cosmic proportions: He who lives by the sword will perish by the sword. And history is replete with the bleached bones of nations that failed to follow this command. We must follow nonviolence and love."

- Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., May 17, 1957

We so often remember only one of Doctor King's speeches, and even then only the parts about the idyllic dreamscape he painted, where we are judged solely by the "content of our character." We (Americans) like to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, a dream made real. In reality, our accomplishments are on paper only. We still underfund schools with high minority populations; we are once again sending poor and minority soldiers -- many of whom signed up as reservists for the promise of education -- to fight brown people in foreign lands.

Dr. King was not just the watered-down dreamer of our popular culture. He made demands on the political regime of the time, and he showed us the connection between civil rights at home and the need for peace abroad (link will open a .pdf file).

"I Have a Dream" is one of the greatest speeches ever made, from any number of standpoints, but it is shameful that the only portions we pay any attention to today are the last four paragraphs. The dream is contingent on America's success in overcoming the bankruptcy of it's "bank of justice," described in the beginning of the speech, and making good on promises of equality. It is contingent on cooperation between peoples, and Dr. King warns against the separtist militancy that some factions of the movement had come to espouse. It is contingent on a new understanding of the phrase "all men are created equal," accepted by every citizen and all lawmakers as the governing principle of our country's foundation.

We may be closer to this dream, but we do not yet deserve the credit we give ourselves for having realized the dream. In the first speech I linked, Dr. King quotes one of my favorite poems, "Let America Be America Again" by Langston Hughes; and so I will, too.

O, let America be America again--
The land that never has been yet--
And yet must be--the land where
every man is free.
The land that's mine--the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME--
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.

Happy birthday, Dr. King. We're still working on it.

Sunday, January 16, 2005


Jon, Katherine -- It's a Chia Professor!!! Remind you of anyone?

Saturday, January 15, 2005

"Lewd Rubbing"

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

LiveJournal is down...

Friday, January 14, 2005

I have been alone way too much recently

Have you ever been sitting around and realized that something you did in the past was so fucking over the top that it makes you laugh until tears run down your face? I'm finding it hard to breathe here. It's really amazing that I HAVE any friends left from undergrad, because I was fucking INSANE. Thank god I don't drink like that anymore.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Apparently I act my age.

There was this stupid table here that said "you are 26," which I am, so apparently according to this dumbassed quiz with the html that impossibly fucked up my blog presentation I do in fact act my age.

A Few Things

1. Am somewhat bipedal, though I still use a crutch when I have to walk a fair distance.

2. I LEFT MY HOUSE TODAY. Went to lunch with the Dad for his b-day, then to bookstore for presents.

3. Could not resist buying myself a present, as I finally found the complete collected works of Langston Hughes. Have been reading poetry all afternoon.

4. Logic board is beginning to fry on the iBook once again. Goddammit, I really did not want to start the term without a computer.

5. I want a transforming werewolf plushie.

6. If someone made a movie like this I'd call it a ridiculous premise.

7. You, too, can own your own Law & Order coloring book.

8. Hopefully they can't expell you for bitching about school, or kids, young adults, and grad students around the world are about to be fucked.

9. By the way, they stopped looking for WMDs last month ago. Thanks for letting us know, yeah?

10. It's a fucking good thing Apple still has the extended logic board repair thing going on, as at least I won't have to pay to be computerless for another month this term. Anybody got a spare computer I can borrow?

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Iggy Pop

So, I've never bothered to figure out where I knew the song that they use on those annoying cruise ship commercials comes from. You know the one, where the guy's lining up a mini-golf putt and he misses it when the ship's horn blows? Then this song kicks in, and I knew I'd heard it because, dude, Iggy Pop.... Anyway, the song is Lust For Life, and the funniest part is that when you read the lyrics (or listen to the song, if you've got it at hand, which I didn't), and you realize why it sounds as if it's been judiciously edited. Seriously, those must have been some drunken ad execs:

Exec 1: Dude, what could possibly sell MORE cruises to paradise?
Exec 2: Wait, I've got it! Lots of illicit sex and drugs.
Exec 1: Dude, we can't show that on TV!
Exec 2: *hiccups* That's why the good lord gave us Iggy Pop and sound editors.

I expect everyone else figured this out long before I did, mostly because I had to LOOK UP THE LYRICS (remember, musically disinclined person here), but it's still funny enough to be worth blogging about.

As is this, come to think of it. Click the link. The picture is too cute for words.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Checks Pulse

Yep, I'm still here. Nearly bored to death, but still here. Bill came over yesterday and relieved some of the boredom by bringing ROTK:EE, which nicely killed four and a half hours, and then stayed for the Vikings game (I only watch football when I'm around friends, otherwise it only perpetuates boredom). That's it.


Knee is getting better. I woke up with no pain, can put a bit more weight on it, and if it wasn't for the carpal tunnel problems I'd probably be down to one crutch (it's less painful to split the burden of hefting my fat ass between both wrists).

Again, yawn.

I'm ready to bore myself to sleep. Except I'm not tired, after all the naps I took while on vicodan.


OK. No real reason to bore all of you, even if misery really does love company. I'll post when I have something to say... or when I find something interesting online.

Shit! I have to go spray the cat away from the bird cage. Woo hoo, possible excitement!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Dear Knee,

I love you, but you are just a little to close to my body right now. It's very uncomfortable to only be able to sleep on my back, and this constant elevation thing is geing old. How much longer 'til we're tap dancing again?


Thursday, January 06, 2005


Knee has been hacked. All went well, and I didn't get sick from the anesthesia -- even had pizza for dinner. When I woke up in recovery I immediately asked, "can I go home now?" I had warned the person who babysat me that in the past I just came home and fell asleep after surgery; imagine my surprise when we sat around reading trivial pursuit cards at one another because I wasn't the least bit sleepy.

The downside: my knee is leaking. It has soaked through the dressing, so now I have to call the surgeon's office tomorrow and go in to have it re-dressed. Also, it hurts like a bitch. I have been keeping time between vicodan doses with television dramas. It sure beats biting a leather strap.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I'm a Dork.

You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the 'goodest' thing possible. These people are willing to work with the law to accomplish their goal, but if the law is corrupt they are just as willing to tear it down. To these people, doing what's right is the most important thing, regardless of rules, customs, or laws.

Neutral Good


Chaotic Good


Lawful Good


True Neutral


Chaotic Evil


Lawful Neutral


Neutral Evil


Chaotic Neutral


Lawful Evil


What is your Alignment?
created with

My D&D character? Neutral Good. Big damn dork.