Happy BlogDay

Frog pointed out that today is BlogDay (and kindly plugged my blog in the doing), so I figured I should actually post today.

I've been mostly occupied with watching the crisis on the Gulf Coast. All of the news is appalling: the damage, the slow relief operations, the initial refusal to assist those who couldn't afford their own transport in evacuating, the fact that even the busses stopped running two days before the storm hit, the fact that much of the emergency gear that could have saved lives is inexplicably in Iraq. This is why you wait until last resort to call out the National Guard: they, and their toys, are needed at home.

And this demonstrated why you don't choose to defund hurricane preparedness in favor of increased security spending. People. When you've got a city thaqt sits below sea level, you don't scrimp on the funding. Weather can create as much terror and suffering as bombs can.

Of course, our Attorney General has decided that terrorism shouldn't be top priority, either. What should be? Porn. Child porn, you ask? No, I reply. Plain old "obscenity" between consenting adults. I'm not even going to make an argument about policing other people's morals here. Instead, I'll just say thaqt this government is making me want my fucking money back. And when you consider I don't normally mind paying taxes, that should say something.

So, you're sick of all this light-hearted faffery, yeah? OK, here's a serious link for you: Animated Kitties. That ought to hit your "aww" buttons.

I'm leaving tomorrow for Up North (this is Minnesotan for anywhere north of the Twin Cities, but I'll be WAY up north, on the shore of a truly Superior lake). I'm madly scrambling for both relaxation and organization, as my syllabus is still not complete for the course I"m teaching this term. Fear my procrastination skillz.

Oh, and E.? That email that I predicted I'd get on Monday night? The one from you-know-who, about you-know-what that I announced at the orientation wing-ding? Yeah. Like clockwork, bay-bee.

Edited because I'm forgetful: Happy Birthday, Katherine!!!

Some Things To Think About

Race, class, and survival.

And who decides who's "looting"?

Dan Savage Pwns Again

Oh, and apropos of nothing: Shaunti Feldhahn (www.shauntifeldhahn.com), "a conservative Christian author and speaker, and married mother of two," recently wrote an op-ed touting conversion therapy for homosexuals. I speak for all gay people everywhere when I say that I'm sick to fucking death of listening to straight fundies yapping about how easy it is for other people to change their sexual orientations. Think it's easy, Shaunti? Then prove it, bitch, by putting your twat where your mouth is. After you convert your skanky ass from hetero to homo, I will convert my skanky ass from homo to hetero. Give me a call when you're a carpet-munchin', vag-fistin' bulldyke--and bring the video, because I'm going to want proof--and I will give up ass-munchin', butt-fucking faggotry. Until then, shut your stupid fucking mouth.

Huh?

I am urrently not sleeping so that I might keep up with the latest from down in NOLA via streaming local news webcast. They just had an on-the-spot reporter at the shore in front of the coastguard station. The boarded up, evacuated coastguard station. And he was standing ankle-deep in water in the middle of a street. With the worst not expected until daybreak.

What the hell is that crazy motherfucker thinking?!?!?!

In other news, have some Snakes on a Plane.

Dear Mr. Robertson,

1. You don't get to decide who governs other countries. Please try to contain your disappointment.

2. Your god doesn't either. Just in case you were thinking of invoking his name.

3. The Red Scare is over. We're afeared of terrorism now, not comunism. Read your damn memos.

4. I'm pretty sure that advocating murder is a great big leaping sin. Also, the chance of Venezuala exporting comunism to the US is comical. Because baby, in the game of Superpower, size DOES matter.

Go take your meds, dear. You give God a bad name when you run on so.
CJ

High on Allergy Medicine

I AM A WIZARD, NOT A BABOON BRANDISHING A STICK!

Why yes, that was my favorite line from book 6. Why do you ask?

Dear Progressive Insurance,

It would be a lot easier for you to take my payment if your website actually let me log in.

It would be a lot more likely that I would retain your fucking insurance for longer than I absolutely have to if your phone assistance workers could address my concerns about your website malfunctions without making shit up.

Fuck you all.
CJ

They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

No idea.

Exhaustion Festival

Round about the time I have any responsibility whatsoever this afternoon I will be COMPLETELY BRAINDEAD!!!!

(Gone to RenFest on no sleep. Back soon.)

iTunes Hijinks

So, I'm listening to my obscenely large and random iTunes library on Shuffle. Suddenly I'm listening to a song called "Bill and Ted's Homosexual Adventure." I have no idea where this song came from.

Not that I'm surprised to find it on my playlist. Though iTunes certainly has a sense of humor, as it followed this bit of musical archaeology with "Gin and Juice" (Snoop's original, not The Gourds, for those who are acquainted with my love of covers).

Buh?

Welcome to Ragweed Season

Head all splody.

Ears all Plugged.

First day at Fest on Saturday. Costume almost done.

Book still not in for course --> no book order and no syllabus.

Please stop world. I wanna get off.

I Quit. Have Some Links.

Ten Hollywood Movies That Get Women Right: some of their reasoning seems a bit stupid (especially re: Fight Club. Great movie, but showing men what women "go through" is not the same as getting women right), but it's certainly thought-provoking. I especially liked the discussion of Silence of the Lambs, as that's one of my very favorite movies.

Is my child becoming homosexual? In case you're already planning that 16th birthday gift, a way to tell if you should get him a leather jacket... or leather chaps.

In other news, I quit. I'll be over in the corner, looking for real jobs.

An Ode, in Prose

Do you know why I love the internet? I live the internet because it is the only place I know where you can search out people from all over the world who have interests common to yours -- say, knitting. If you're really lucky they are as cool and sweet as this (seriously, you've never met such a brilliant advocate for those who don't speak human; come to think of it, I've never met her, either).

And if you're extremely lucky, they have talents that you could never dream of, like the ability to render the smooshiest little kitty and doggie paintings you've ever seen. They're beautiful. Go take a look, I'll wait...

See? But that's not even the coolest part about the internet. Because the internet has auction sites where said really brilliant people can share their art and earn more than just heaps of praise for it (because, lets face it, praise doesn't but much canvas, stretched or not). And even if you're continually outbid on all! the! pretty! paintings!, if you persevere in bidding you just might find that for once no one outbid you by more than a hundred dollars over what you can afford to spend. And then? Then you get to take delivery of things like this.

Teresa, it's wonderful. I love the warmth of the gold, which conveniently matches the colors my room is done in. He's to be hung above my vanity table as soon as I can find a hammer and nail, and there I'll see him every morning as soon as I wake up. It's kitty feung shui -- the cuddly energy is perfectly aligned. (And how sweet are you? "You put the 'x' in turtle"... I about giggled my head off.) Keep doing what you do, hon. You make the world -- both real and virtual -- a beautiful place.

Hocus Pocus

See, first they couldn't connect 9/11 to Iraq, which made all of the saber rattling a bit questionable. So then there were those darned WMDs, which provided a fine excuse to bomb the ever-loving daylights out of Iraq. But then Iraq turned into the disaster it is today, because somehow we never really factored in the idea that a foreign occupation might not seem like salvation to every Iraqi man, woman, and child. So what do we do? What's the next misdirection? Well, it seems that there have been Iranian weapons 'found in Iraq'. Perhaps where all of those WMDs were supposed to be? Add to that UN involvement in nuclear crisis talks, which pretty much assures we'll be bombing the hell out of Iran soon and hoping it turns out to be ledd of a public relations nightmare than Iraq. Soon we'll see President Folksy McNormalGuy on the TV telling us how, gee golly gosh, America, the only way to make sure the heathens don't nuke us is to go in and steal their country (with the cunning use of flags*, and other Weapons of Mass Deception).

*It's an Eddie Izzard quote. Because if you can't have fun while making dire predictions about world affairs, you're just not doing it right.

SUCCESS!!!

Sweet Jesus Christ on Toast! I am registered for classes! There are no holds on my record! All I have left to do this summer is to set land speed records for creating a course and a reading list and resolving incompletes and I'm GOLDEN!!!!!

Now. I'm going to bed, like I should have done about two hours ago.

Русский Язык

Доброе утро. Как вы пожываете? Думаю, что ета клавиатура очен трудно исрользовать.

5.15: Сейчас утро. Раньше думала, что была полночь. Но теперь, рассвет подходит на бархатных нагах.

Stuff On My Cat

StuffOnMyCat.com. Because you can.

Hmmm...

Ever find yourself standing in the shower, struck with the sudden realization that you've no idea why you're wearing your glasses in there? Yeah, me too.

The Worst Part...

... is that there are folks in our government who think this is a good way to get accurate information out of folks. Now, I'm pretty sure that if it had been me in that sleeping bag, the first few blows would have had me confessing to being the second shooter on the grassy knoll (hint: I was born in 1978). But rest assured, shoddy intelligence practices won't get you far in the US in this post-9/11 world -- only as far as the UN.

Seriously, folks. If we can't bring ourselves to believe that torturing people is wrong, can we at least think of it as a dangerously ineffective intelligence strategy? You know, intelligence? That thing we like to ignore here in the good old USA?

Dear NASA,

Two massive space disasters and a flight of astronauts sweating it out upstairs, hoping their craft doesn't come apart on re-entry. Glad you've finally sorted out that it might be a good idea to overhaul shuttle design and ground all flights until you can convince people that mechanical problems really are a good reason for launch delay figure out why things keep blowing up.

Seriously. The 100 launches that these things were supposed to be able to handle seems a bit optimistic when you consider the stress they undergo when entering and exiting the atmosphere. These crafts were manufactured more than twenty years ago. Discovery has flown 30 missions, two more than Columbia had when it went all splody. For heaven's sake, bite the bullet and spend money on a new one. I'm sich of watching you kill off my childhood one mechanical failure at a time in the name of "budget." Here's a thought: fewer flights, more precautions. Juggle those priorities and use the fact that Shrub has decided the space program is just the type of bread and circuses we need to re-establish a program that inspires awe rather than anxiety.

Just sayin'.

Love,
CJ

Where have I been?

Off huntin' links!

1. An interview with Joss Whedon, via Warren Ellis's blog. It's a kitchen-sink, uncut interview. Total dork heaven.

2. A sad news article about the execution of two teenagers executed in Iran for having gay sex. There is a temptation to distance ourselves by saying we live in a more "enlightened" country, but this temptation should be avoided since it is only within the last three years that sodomy laws and the execution of children have been deemed unconstitutional within our own borders, and there is still a massive crusade afoot to deprive folks who like the same-sex lovin' from carrying the same legal status as folks who think variety is the spice of... genitalia.

3. This just proves that there are places far less het up about sex that the US. Personally, I think the dude in the picture is damn gutsy going to an exhibit of erotic art with his erotometer showing.

4. We have a new planet. Called XENA. I respect that the name likely comes from somewhere totally unrelated, but did NO ONE stop to think about the giggles it's likely to cause?

5. That Cunning Linguist, Dan Savage, gives the best ora sex advice ever. Best line: "I know that, personally, two things kept coming up while I was reading my 500 e-mails about cunnilingus: my lunch, and the sneaking suspicion that not all women enjoy the same things when it comes to oral sex. So, boys, you'll have to ask 'em how they like eet."

6. This always makes me smile because my uncle and I used to spend every family gathering tag-team telling bad impromptu stories. One of us would start in with "it was a dark and stormy night..." and pass it on to the other after a sentence or two. The rest of the family would then gradually leave the room.

7. Pandagon.Net looks at feminism, Oprah style. It looks surprisingly like a 1950's publication oriented toward housewives.

8. In related news, we find out that men tend not to read things that women write.

9. Unsurprisingly, no one tends to buy Michael Jackson's new album. You can claim that this is because of the recent trial, but my money's on the fact that there's NO NEW MUSIC ON IT! Seriously, you don't sell bazillions of copies of the initial albums only to have everyone who already owns them say, "hmmm... I think I need ANOTHER MJ greatest hits collection."

10. What do a bunch of Straight Edge kids talk about on the internet? Mostly how awful it is to go to a bar and OMG SEE PEOPLE DRINKING BEER!!!11!!! Seriously, folks. Being this whiny is a serious risk to your punk cred.

11. Finally, The Condom Game. Hysterically funny, and NOT WORK SAFE.

Yeah, those have been building up for awhile. I'll post pictures from Up North once I can be arsed to download them to my 'puter.