Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Not Sure When I'll Be Back Again

Hey, all. Things are the pits in this bowl of cherries, so I'm taking
a break to sort out where I'm off to next. The blog may move (I'm
lazy, so probably not), or get a facelift (see previous
parenthetical), or resume unchanged when life settles down a bit. I
can always be reached at xturtle at gmail dot com or on google talk
under the same account.
I'm sure I won't be gone for long. You know how hard it is for me to
keep my big mouth shut!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Just So You Know

I have the best co-workers ever. They just gave me a "we're sorry
your best friend left her husband for your cousin and made your life a
living hell of lies and manipulation" card. OK, so that's not exactly
what it said, but it was darn funny.

Oh yeah, and that's what that previous post was all about.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Dear people with romantic delusions,

Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to not take that chance, to not find out if the other person shares your feelings, to always wonder "what might have been." A good example of this is if one of you is married. Another is if the other person is married; if that person is married to someone who is also your friend, this provides a double reason for impulse control.

Lying to the jilted party, to the friend left to pick up the pieces (that's me, you jerks), and to your parents makes your behavior even more disgusting. As does condescending to me, telling me that you're a "big boy" who can take care of himself even though you were, as we spoke, making a childish, selfish mess for many of those you supposedly call friend.

Your life is not a work of fiction. There is no overarching true love that makes it OK for you to screw over as many people as need be to get to it. We are not actors playing at being hurt. I love you both, but your behavior is odious and toxic and the best I can do right now is to distance myself from it entirely. I will help get the main injured party in this affair to a safe space, then duck out until I can speak with either one of you rationally. I do not want to see or hear from you individually, and I sure as hell don't want to see you together.

Beyond disappointed,

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Yay, Free Speech!

Tim Hardaway was nice enough to let the world know he's a bigoted asshole, which let the NBA know that maybe he was not such the All Star. Free speech: it lets us know who the assholes are!

/looking on the bright side

The fact that this fucking chump felt entirely comfortable saying "I hate gay people" on air should be indicative of homophobia that stems beyond one man, beyond organized sport, and beyond media sensationalism (though that interviewer was clearly trying to get the most bang for his buck once jackass opened his trap). Hardaway may be a moron, but he's a moron with a lot of company and that scares the shit out of me.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Award Show Justice

Did y'all see about the Chicks last night? Won all five Grammys they were nominated for. There was much gloating, as this was the album that resulted from the various death threats and other bad behavior aimed at them after they dared to object to the war in Iraq.

So what do these assholes have to say? They think Natalie should have been classier about winning.

Y'all, if people were threatening me with death, trying to make sure I never ate lunch in this town again, and generally trying to smear my name just 'cause I spoke my mind? I would not feel compelled to be classy to them in return. You get what you give.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Zombie Alarm Clock

While the title of this post might make a great band name, it actually refers to the fact that my alarm clock died this morning, and is working once again. I got up to turn off the alarm this morning only to have an arc of electricity leap from my fingertip to the clock. Yes, folks, I ZAPPED MY ALARM CLOCK -- apparently we have determined my mutant power. The zap caused the clock to tell me that it was 18:88 o'clock and smell of ozone, so I (perhaps wisely) unplugged the thing immediately.

I plugged it in at nine this evening, and it worked fine. Cue Twilight Zone theme.

If nothing else, this incident indicated that it was well past time to dig out the humidifier, so after watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" for the eleventy-zillionth time this evening I hauled it out. What about The Big Game, you ask? Pshaw, I say. I'll catch His Royal Weirdness on YouTube (already caught his pre-game press conference there -- it's mostly guitar solo, so do watch, as that's Prince at his best) and I heard Billy Joel's national anthem from mom's tv while I was in the tub so no real reason to watch. Feel free to link good commercials in the comments, though.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Ice Fishing

News Flash: Russian Ice Fishermen are more hardcore than Minnesotan Ice Fishermen. And all of them are nucking futs.

In other news, we've a wind chill factor of twenty-five degrees below zero (fahrenheit) today, and yet I'm going out this evening. Speaking of nucking futs...

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Cute as a Button!

Check it out! Jon and Teresa made a Chloe! And they let me hold her!

Congrats, you two!