Interruption in Service

The blog has sufferet of late due to computer woes. The machine refused to start last thursday, though Jon revived it brilliantly. I tried to buy a new one on friday, but the "instant credit" at apple is apparently only instant if people can afford the computer (no lie, that's what sales dude implied), which seems to negate buying on credit entirely in my mind. I should hear from them via snail mail this week, and if all goes well have a swanky new MacBookPro in my hands. Knowing the likelihood of all going well when I am involved, expect sparse communication for a bit.

I'm on mom's machine right now, as mine is presently refusing to perform many functions and taking at least five minutes to open a single window in those programs it will deign to use. The hard drive has started making a toned-down version of the "chugga-chugga" noise it was making when it refused to start up, and my Mail program has suddenly developed a ".prayer" file that I have never seen before.

If you need me, try gmail (xturtle at you-know-where dot com). I'm checking about twice a day right now; those who know me well know that this is driving me crazy. Commenting will also get to me, so feel free to leave your best/worst computer disaster stories, funny anecdotes, or chocolate.

I'm off to stare at a TV for awhile (I don't get it... the screen doesn't respond to my keystrokes...).

Geekery!

I am at E & M's house. There are three computers here. Each of us is logged in to gmail/Gchat on one. We are chatting in the SAME FUCKING APARTMENT. Two of the puters are in the same ROOM.

Happy Saturday night, ya'll!

PS If you're reading this and you haven't answered the question in the previous post, go do that now. Seriously. Everytime you don't answer the lunchtime poll, God kills a kitten.

PPS Me to M: You now exist. I have you on my contacts list.

Lunchtime Poll

In the spirit of Heathers, I offer today's poll question:

You're forced to live in a silly dream for the rest of your life where you can only listen to one genre of music from one decade in music history. What do you choose?

(My Test Subject for this poll requested clarification as to whether "decade" means ten consecutive years, or time periods bounded by zeros. I lean toward the more flexible definition, unless you tend to think of music in terms of 80's, 90's, etc. Follow your bliss.)

Post early and often, y'all. This inquiring mind wants to know!

Men

My mom's Whatever is in town this week, and things have become... a bit tense. This tends to happen when you put one woman who had given up on marriage and embraced a long-distance relationship for it's distance; a woman who hates the entire idea of having a romantic relationship with anyone (except maybe the sex part, but even that's not really worth the rest of the hassle); and a real Man's Man disguised as an aging hippy in a small house with one bathroom, a neurotic cat, and not enough food. It could make some reality TV vulture very rich.

Anyroad, mom and I were venting, and she stops abruptly and says, "I should stop. I don't want to put you off men entirely." Me: "don't worry, men have alread managed that pretty well themselves." Mom: "it's just, they're better when they're older. And you're older. And you tend to forget more." Me: "So you're saying senility helps." Mom: "Well... yeah."

Words of wisdom, ladies and gents. Also, apparently we really are ignoring that little "I like both boys AND girls" talk we had in high school. Oh, well, it's her heart attack. (Don't ask. That drama llama has been put to pasture. She can deal with it if I ever bring a chick home, I'm done with the "coming out" part of my life.)

Cool News

In the future, your heart can take a vacation.

The News From Lake Accident Prone

The "good knee" (read: least recently injured) went out from under me today. The short version: ER, immobilizer, crutches, torn meniscus, ortho next week, MRI, likely no surgery needed. The ER was blissfully empty, and we were in and out in two hours. Unprecidented. Am on the good drugs, so this will remain short.

Send chocolate.

Some Notes

Dear United States,
This is not one of the international headlines that make us proud. Seriously. Alternative sentencing. Restorative justice. An end to Three Strikes and mandatory minimums. These things can help. Some of them are reasons that other countries have such a low incarceration rate. They are also likely to help stop gang escalation, which ought to make middle-class white people (you know, that population you cater to the fears of?) feel safer. After that you might want to think about decriminalizing Bill Clinton's friend Mary Jane, but I'm not that optimistic.
With exasperation,
CJ

Dear Twin Cities (and other cities around the country),
Thirty thousand people?! I knew it looked big, but I didn't dare estimate a crowd that size. Way to represent, we nation of immigrants. Way to use that flag the way it was meant. To think I showed up on a whim, and ended up Optimist For A Day.
With hope (!),
CJ

Dear Department,
HAHAHAHAHA THIS WAS MY LAST YEAR OF CONFERENCE SLAVERY HAHAHAHAHA!
HAHA,
CJ

Dear Readers,
So. How was YOUR weekend? Mine was busy.
Love,
CJ

Music? Music.

I usually don't rec music, largely because it is generally accepted fact that my musical taste is rather warped. I have to tell you, though, The Ukrainians are rocking my world. There is seriously nothing cooler than a Ukrainian version of "Anarchy in the UK" that includes -- wait for it -- the balalaika. Seriously, these guys rock. And their US distributor is based out of minneapolis. Check 'em out, if you haven't already.

Dear Self,

If your first reaction to a link is "huh... that's a panic attack waiting to happen," the logical course of action is not to click the fucking link! Dumbass.
Spazmodically,
CJ

Dear Folks,
If you have Issues related to that one date that Bush uses to justify every-fucking-thing, don't be like me. Don't click the link. It's a trailer for Flight 93, and it's just a leetle too reality based for some folks, myself apparently included. I'ma go conk out from panic pills now.
Love,
CJ

Some Links!

Nothing beats "Snakes on a Plane" for a movie title, but "Guys And Balls" comes damn close. (Really, the thing looks hysterical. Go watch, or read the synopsis.)

Apparently, showing up in church makes Americans superior to everyone in the world. Rick Santorum is just a bastion of piety. In other news, I have a sudden, overwhelming urge to visit a mosque next friday. I'm not certain, but it could be due to the MASSIVE DOSE OF HEGEMONIC CHRISTIANITY my government keeps shoving down my throat. Just sayin'.

Ew.

Zombie spider. On my floor. Had to smush him THREE TIMES before he died.

Ew.

April 1

With half the internet pranking, and the ther half playing the fool, the BBC kindly provides a list of stories that are actually NOT hoaxes.

As for the hair, ELW had it half right, though her suspicion that I would choose "D" was incorrect. I am lazy, and tend to like shaggy, so I'm about halfway between chiding myself for not making my appointment yet and wincing at some of my hair's mullet-esque properties. Sadly, I will likely continue to be lazy because I have discovered that using a bit of gel to mess up the back of my hair negates the mullet effect. VICTORY IS MINE!!!